my 13 year old daughter whom lives with my aunt n uncle is self harming i need help what do i do

[selfharm0410]

Help me

[Taylor-RO]

Hi @selfharm0410, welcome to our forums. This sounds like a really difficult situation and you must be feeling really worried. If you feel comfortable sharing, can you tell us more about your situation? What is your contact with your daughter? Does your aunt and uncle know that she is self harming? Does she have any support?

Do you feel concerned that she is unsafe or about to harm herself right now? If so, we encourage you to call 000. If you want to talk about how this is impacting you and how you might be able to support her long term, we are here to listen. There are also services like Parent Line available, if you'd like to chat over the phone 

[hands4healing]

firstly I am sad this happening for your daughter and you. 

Thankfully, I havent had first hand experience with this.

Without, being judgemental, may I ask the reason for your daughter living with your aunt and uncle? Is this a temporary arrangement? 

if you dont feel comfortable in answering or sharing why, I completely understand. I am just trying to understand the situation and family dynamics as they may give some credence to leading to the self harming. 

For a person to resort to self harming there is either mental illness at play or other underlying contributing factors. 

A few thoughts come to mind

- a cry for help ( which I would question is there bullying involved, any incident of sexual or domestic abuse?)

- is she a person who has any type of spectrum diagnosis ( ADHD)

- does she like school

- what are the family mechanics - mother , father, step family, other siblings and how many in the family

- teenagers is a hard age as they navigate in to further adulthood and their brains are necessarily wired to deal or communicate certain feelings they maybe having, couple with hormones going berko. 

- does she have aa good group of friends or at least one or two special friends she can seek comfort from or confide in to at least communicate with someone what she is going through.

- how much time do you or an adult figure she trusts and loves spend time with her

- my other question is has this raised with someone professional( e.g. GP, Psychologist, School counsellor, school or local chaplain) to seek further help for her. If not I would consider asking your daughter is she open to this help or at the very least going to GP and gaining a mental health plan to seek help from counselling for her. 

Has she consulted or have your or someone suggested one of the many mental health hotlines to call and seek assistance, depending on where you live there may also be some support groups to gain help from. HeadSpace are really good with teens I believe.

THe earlier help is gained, the greater success you have to nipping it in the bud. 

I hope you find this helpful and I wish you and your daughter well. 

[Iona_RO]

Hi @selfharm0410 

I'm sorry to hear that your daughter is self-harming, I imagine that must be really worrying for you, especially when she is living elsewhere. 

As we are an Australian-based organisation, we are limited in the support we can provide as it looks like you're in the USA. However, we have some great articles on teenagers and self-harm that you might find helpful. Or you can try having a look here for some local support services.