18 year old girlfriend

[Ziglux]

My son is 18 and has been with his girlfriend for 2 years. In this time they have been together the girlfriend has been very welcome in our home at all times.
Girlfriend is extremely moody and will often come in and ignore all of our family and go straight to son’s bedroom. She will park out the front to pick him up and not come in, sometimes sitting out there for a few hours while we are eating dinner. I raised our concerns with my son and he unfortunately went back to girlfriend and told her our concerns and now she is saying we hate her and we are trying to break them up. It has really all just turned into a massive drama. Son left home and gone to girlfriends home and won’t speak to any of his family.
Last night it all came to a head and son and gf came over to “talk”. Son said nothing and gf just started yelling at us all, abusive language and threats of violence. Oldest daughter stepped in and asked her to leave and this was met with a shove from gf. She was then told to leave and on her way out lashed out at my son and continued yelling abuse.
Not sure where we can go from here but any advice would be so great. Please no judgement we are just so broken and sad from all of this.

[Bel_RO]

Hey @Ziglux,
Welcome to ReachOut! It sounds like last night was quite confronting and challenging for you and your family. This would've been daunting to say the least and quite taxing. I can hear that you were very welcoming to your son's girlfriend despite her behaviour. It is really understandable that this concerned you and is great that you were able to share your concerns with your son. I'd like to take a moment here to acknowledge your efforts around reaching out for support around this, but also being able to speak to your son about your concerns. I can see that you're an incredible parent!

I can hear that after your son told his girlfriend about your concerns, your son left home and refused to make contact with any of the family. This would've been challenging for you and your family. I can also hear that last night your son's girlfriend began yelling at you and your family, using abusive language, and made threats of violence. This is not okay at all and would've been quite shocking to see her behave this way. Since this happened last night, have you had a chance to speak to any family or friends about what's happened?

I can also see that your son's girlfriend shoved your oldest daughter and lashed out on your son while she was leaving, all while yelling abuse. I imagine this would have been so difficult to navigate for you and your family, and I can hear that you and your family are feeling sad and broken by all of this, which is completely understandable. I want to also take this time to reiterate that you're not alone, the community is here to support you! It might also be helpful to check out this topic on Romantic Relationships and Teenagers. It contains a number of articles with advice on navigating your young person and their romantic relationships. 

What you and your family have gone through is so heartbreaking and can really affect your wellbeing. In saying that, I am curious to know how you are doing? Is there anything you will be doing today to take care of yourself? If you're interested in additional support, I encourage you to connect with ReachOut's Parent Coaching. They offer free 1:1 professional coaching for parents and carers of 12–18-year-olds across Australia.

An email has also been sent to check in with you offline, so please keep an eye out for it. I look forward to hearing from you soon!