Hello
I am very new to parenting someone else's children. I had a toxic marriage of my own in which I ended up single parenting my four children. I have recently made the move to live with another man who has twin girls aged 7. Their mother left them and moved interstate when they were only three. They have had only one face to face visit with her since she left and she calls them every few weeks for about 3 mins until something else is more important or she's had enough. Their mother has two other children to another man. It's sad because they live for the moments when she calls.
The girls crave love from me and I am happy to give it although my partner's parenting style and mine are very different. I am far more strict then he is and offer consequences where I find he says one thing and does another or renegs on it ie "No you cant" and then later says they can. It is driving me crazy and he says it's ok that I parent different to him but I told him that's not going to set a good example to the girls. They need reinforced boundaries. Although he never contradicts my parenting with them on the few occasions it has happened. I find the girls to be sweet, kind and loving despite the hardships they have known but also very entitled and spoiled. Is it normal for 7-8yr old to ask a lot of questions? these girls never stop and they cant hold their tongue or mind their own business. Most kids, from what I remember of my own, were never that interested in what the parent was doing, only where they were going. These kids are the nosiest kids I have ever met.
I'm incredibly frustrated and bordering hostile or shutting down and locking myself away so I dont have to deal with them. We live together so its kind of hard to get away from them.
I am also wondering how other step parents feel they fit into the heirarchy in the beginning? Do they come second to the partner's children or equal first with them? I dont know what to do or think about any of this. Sorry for the long spiel, i just needed to talk. Thank you
