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Boundaries with adult son

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Boundaries with adult son

My adult son is 25 and had adhd. He is constantly living with us on and off. He has never paid any rent, yells constantly and tells us we have never supported him and he is constantly disrespecting my husband, his step dad. He was homeless a week ago and we spent money to allow him to come back. He is already talking crazy to husband whrn he asks him to keep the noise down at 7am. Is it wrong to ask him to leave? Its heartbreaking but im so tired of letting him live under our roof and disrespect us at the same time. He wont see anyone for help and is very emotionally immature. Please help


Re: Boundaries with adult son

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Hi @Edavis433 


Thank you for posting about boundaries with your son. I can imagine the situation is wearing thin on you and your husband - after trying to support it stings to be shouted at and disrespected. 


I'm sorry to hear you're going through all this, and I can see why you're feeling conflicted. Yours and your husbands' well-being are important, and it sounds like this isn't a sustainable situation for you all - but, understandably, you'd worry for your son, which makes this, as you said, heartbreaking. 


You mentioned that your son has ADHD, and I'm wondering if either of you has ever looked into support services? There are support groups for people with ADHD and ones for their families too. It might be nice to vent about with people who have similar experiences. 


ADHD Support Australia might be worth checking out if you're interested. 


It sounds like your son is struggling, and I'm not sure if he'd be open to getting support, but someone like a mental health caseworker could assist with areas like housing and Centrelink - maybe even provide help with living skills and transitioning to living out of home. 


If that's something that you're interested in looking at, Flourish is a service that offers support with housing, education/employment, and mental health here are all their services.


Let us know what you think of those resources and if you have any questions for us.