Communication with partner and his baby mum

[Alonestep]

Hi all,

Back story- I met my partner through work, we were both in relationships but over time developed feelings for one another. We both broke off our relationships and spent more time together. He had a child with his ex. Things between him and I got more serious, until I found an email to his ex saying he wanted to work on things for their son. I confronted him, he said he regretted sending it and it was so stupid. This was in January, ever since then I’m so anxious anytime they communicate and do drop offs/pick ups. He continues to tell me he loves me and wants to be with me, she will always be in her life because of their child but she constantly messages him (his stopped responding unless it’s urgent because I told him I hate it). Any tips of coping with this feeling?

[Hannah-RO]

Hey @Alonestep thats an awful feeling, it must have been so horrible to have found that email.

It sounds like your partner is understanding of how you feel and willing to reassure you about the relationship, do you think this is the case? Do you think there is anything else that could make you feel more secure?

In terms of coping with anxiety, here is a link to a resource from the Raising Children's Network. It's got some great tips about managing anxious feelings that could be helpful for when pick up/drop offs are happening. 

Relationships Australia is another great service that has a lot of resources on their website about families and relationships, they also offer services like counselling and courses, here is a link to their website if that is of interest.

We get a lot of parents on the forum with a variety of issues in blended/step families, you are not alone and I'm glad you've found us 

[NickiSt]

If I were you, I would talk to your partner. Conversation is a good way to share thoughts and just explain what bothers you. Of course, she'll always be in his life but if both of you won't feel secure in this relationship you'll both keep and expand the distance between you.