11-07-2017 03:31 PM - last edited on 03-12-2020 10:45 AM by Claire-RO
My 11 year old son has just told me he wants to be a girl. Now he also says he is only attracted to girls. Neither of these things truly matter to me. Obviously I don't want my child to have to go down a hard road but I will love and support him no matter what. I am just confused. I keep replaying the last 11 years. I didn't see it. He never wanted typical girl toys or clothes. Never told me he hated his body or that he thought he was a girl. Nothing until now. I just need advice.
11-07-2017 08:14 PM - edited 11-07-2017 08:17 PM
Hey @confused, welcome to the forum. I noticed that you're from overseas, and you are more than welcome to stay! I'm just concerned that our resources won't be relevant to you as they are in Australian based.
At 11 your son is still young and has time to explore and learn, and work out who is he. I can imagine it must be confusing for you, but don't be hard on yourself. I don't know that there are always signs in youth that are indicators, but good on you for reaching out for advice and support to help you move forward.
I haven't any lived experience, but I'm sure other parents will jump on to share their advice.
@hashtagmum, @Lily17, @Serapis22, @Mamarose, @Defiant, @mazzyb would you be happy to share your experiences and wisdom?
11-08-2017 12:16 PM
11-08-2017 12:57 PM
Hey there @confused! Totally understand how you are feeling...
We made this video to help in situations like this... One thing to be really proud of is that by your child coming out to you it's a sign they really trust you and want you to be part of this journey...
Ross explains more, it's really practical I hope it helps.
One really great thing you can do to support your child is to check in with what pronouns they prefer to use now - IE do they now prefer "she", "her", "my daughter" and if so, try and use them
Also, try reading this story - from a Mum who's child transitioned from female to male, it might help.
Great to hear that you've made appointments with local services - how is that going?
11-08-2017 04:16 PM
Hey @confused, support and suggestions are definitely things we can offer
I also agree with @Sophi-RO that it's such a fantastic thing that your son is talking to you about it all. That connection you have will be an asset throughout these coming years!
Talking to other parents who understand I've found to be an amazing comforter and source of knowledge, so totally get where you're coming from! Money can't buy it!
11-09-2017 12:34 AM
11-12-2017 07:35 PM
Hey @confused I am so glad to hear about the support you're providing your son, sounds like the two of you have a really beautiful bond. Keep us updated on how you are traveling
It looks like you’re visiting us from a country other than Australia.
We are an Australian service and think you’d benefit more from looking up a similar service in your country.
You are welcome to look around the forums, but please don’t make an account or post, as we can’t offer you the help you may need.
Before you go ahead and post, you should know that we remove non-Australian accounts – not because we don’t want to help or connect with you, but because we may not be able to provide you with the service that you require.