08-15-2020 11:20 PM - last edited on 08-19-2020 03:31 PM by Janine-RO
Hi, looking for advice on how people control screen time. I've a 13 yr old daughter and her whole life is the phone and screen time.
There is no consideration for anyone in the house doesnt contribute to chores nothing. She can be very aggressive with her words and threatening behaviour. At a loss,
08-16-2020 11:10 AM
Hi @VeryConfused, thank you so much for sharing. Managing screen time can be a huge frustration for parents and it can be so hard to get the right balance. You might have already tried this but have you thought of creating a reward system? For example, vacuuming the bedroom counts as 30 mins of screen time. It is important for your daughter to see the reward as 'worth it', so you could both work together on how much screen time an activity is worth. If you have been dealing with this issue for a while and feel as though things are only getting worse, it might be time to bring a professional into the equation. There is nothing wrong with getting a little extra support
We have received this question a lot so here are some other threads you can read, in case you might find it helpful to read what other parents have said. We also have a special thread where we asked a professional about screen time use, which you can read here.
08-28-2020 10:45 PM
Sometimes a difficult situation might require an infusion of extra information. I know of a household where the same problem existed, especially in these remote working periods, where overlaps time-wise can be very high between parents and younger people. Interestingly, my friend sat her son down with Brain & Behavior: An Introduction to Behavioral Neuroscience, and they spoke not of the problem, but of the brain! It was bizarre, but she was at her wit's end, and she had nothing to lose. They explored the brain, how it changes and how it can be affected by our actions. It took them back to a time when they had enjoyed books together, but electronic devices had killed the camaraderie. Now they enjoy books and digital devices together; most importantly he has slowly found balance. It took many weeks, but that one silly whacky move got her a foot back into his life, so to say. I think young people must be introduced to what happens in their brains pretty early on. Getting outside help is also good - good luck!
10-18-2020 07:12 PM
Hello, VeryConfused. I had a similar problem with my children but what I did is finding them extra activities. It helps them to get engaged and, of course, the time spent in front of the screen is minimized. And, as in the other comment to this topic, I think that the rewarding system would be perfect but you should be very careful while implementing it. Remember that your daughter can get angry.
10-22-2020 06:55 PM
I can't blame children if I myself can spend the evening with the phone, and the first thing in the morning to take the phone in my hands. When I decided to change, I understood that children also follow my example. Try to talk to her quietly, without shouting. What makes her spend so much time on gadgets? Maybe she doesn't get along with her friends or has problems that she is leaving in this way. Or she's just not interested in anything but the phone, then she needs to look for a hobby. I believe you can do it!
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