Ungrateful, defiant, tantrums - 10 year old

[Witsendmum]

I’m at my wits end with my 10 year old. Never been spoiled, always been ungrateful since she was small. Got her dream bed for Christmas, now has tantrums every night over how much she hates it and doesn’t want it.
Ruins all her property and is sneaky with drawing in bed etc after being banned due to all the texta stains.
Doesn’t respond to positive reinforcement, acts like consequences don’t affect her, begs and pleads for things and promises she will look after them/wear them- very next day will have a tantrum over the item or clothing.. even bare minimum clothing (can’t not get her undies or basic clothes when they’re needed).
I’m at the point I just want to smack and that’s not something I do.

[Taylor-RO]

Hi @Witsendmum,

Welcome to the forums. I want to start by saying it must have taken you a lot of courage to share your story with us today, so thank you. It sounds like you are doing everything you can to support your child and give them the best possible life, including luxuries. It must be so upsetting and frustrating to feel as though your child does not appreciate your efforts and is damaging items that you are buying. It seems like you have tried a whole range of different strategies to manage your child's behaviour but it hasn't produced a whole lot of change. Do you have any professional supports at the moment? I am not sure if this is something you have already tried before but there are parenting programs available, like those listed here.

You mentioned that you are that the point where you want to smack your child, even though this isn't something you'd usually do. It is great that you're able to recognise that you are at your limit and are therefore reaching out for support to manage your situation. f the temptation to smack your child persists, please reach out to Parentline to make sure the situation doesn't escalate.