Why Can't I Focus!!!

[the_ant65]

Just Can't Focus on my work or right here right now?

[Ngaio-RO]

Hey @the_ant65

I'm someone who struggles with focus and procrastination all the time.

Have you ever tried the Pomodoro technique? 

"The Pomodoro Technique is a time management method developed by Francesco Cirillo in the late 1980s. The technique uses a timer to break down work into intervals, traditionally 25 minutes in length, separated by short breaks."

It's had a bit of a resurgence lately and there are lots of apps you can use that have the timers etc set up for you. Most of the apps are free and just go onto your phone or device. Here are 12 different options that you might find useful.

What do you think? Have you tried anything like this before?

[taokat]

Hey @the_ant65, I hear you! I really like @Ngaio-RO's suggestion and have checked out the link myself. 

I also find it really hard to focus when I'm really stressed or have a lot going on in my head. It affects my memory too, and the most basic things can completely skip my mind. I gave myself a bit of a fright the other week - one day forgot momentarily how to turn the jug on and how to operate our intercom!! Time to unwind!

See if you can make some time to get back into your meditation. I also find writing lists helpful when my brain is full. It helps me break things down to manageable bits when I'm feeling overwhelmed, if that makes sense. 

If you try the Pomodoro Technique, let us know how you go!

[the_ant65]

Thanks for this @taokat and @Ngaio-RO I found a similar app on me "Windows" phone. Will try out today. I really like it when it says to get up and go for a walk and stretch. I tend to sit at my desk and don't take walks.

[the_ant65]

At 1st it worked, but like all the others "reminders" it just get pushed to the back ground.

  I think it my son and  my wife that's needs support but more and more I feel my self  slipping in to despair again!! Not focusing at work just add to my depressions. I got a one on one with my boss today . but this week I haven't any thing to tell him "good"  about my week let alone any productive work.

Sorry for rant!!!.

[taokat]

I'm so sorry to hear you're having such a stressful time @the_ant65. Do you think it's work or the worry of parenting that's getting on top of you? 

We're here for you to rant, don't be sorry! We all need an outlet sometimes, and this is a safe space for you to do that.

[the_ant65]

Manly thinking/worrying about issues at home

Just Ongoing issues with my son Schools attendance, We have good support group in place. So everything is lining up.  My wife gets a bit impatience. I know from my own experience with depression / anxiety that things take time. and it won't happen over night.

Having said that. my 13 y.o. son.  He manage to get to school today for. and it was a huge effort on his behave. (2nd time this week).

 I just wish my wife would get some support for her self.  But I just need to stay relax and realise it's her journey not mine.  Pushing this issue  only makes it worse.

It is good the put down on paper my thoughts

Cheers Ant.

[taokat]

You are so insightful @the_ant65, and clearly carrying the weight of your family's wellbeing on your shoulders. Even when we know about what we can't control, it's still really difficult not to worry or be affected in some way.

You're so right that things take time, and I'm so glad that things are starting to fall into place with your son's supports. I really hope it helps your son feel better about himself and school. 

I'm sure you've suggested it already, but would your wife be interested in joining the forum? It may feel less confronting than a counsellor and she would be anonymous. You could maybe plant the seed by talking about your experiences on here? You're so right though that this is her journey, and like each of us, your wife has to do it her own way. 

That is so awesome your son has managed 2 days at school this week! You must be so proud of his effort! It's also fantastic that you acknowledge the effort it takes for him to get there. My daughter struggled so much as well, and I understand what it's like - and the constant worry we parents go through. This is the hardest thing I've ever done!!

Enjoy your weekend - I hope you can take some time to do something to look after yourself.

We've got our Ab Fab Friday's chat night tonight if you're free!

[the_ant65]

thanks for your suggestions and support. I will try to drop some thoughts and seeds about this site.
thanks again @taokat. I am very proud of my son this week.
ps. had internet issues tonight so I was bit late for the chat session.

[taokat]

My pleasure @the_ant65. Your son's done so well. I hope he's acknowledging his efforts too 

If you think it won't make your son feel pressured, I wonder if you could ask him what it was that helped him get to school on those days? Were there subjects he likes, or was there something that gave him his confidence on those days? He might not know and that's okay, but if he does it could be something to work with. 

No worries about the chat night! There's always next week. It was quiet so I did finish up early, which worked out well and I could pick my daughter - and food - up from work!