Worried about a five year old?

[adz1066]

Id love to know what you can do when you see a single mum going bad and you have a lot of love for their five year old son who you have had a great relationship with since their birth?  When I tried to talk to his mum who i have been friends with for twenty five years about the problems i was noticing she shut off all contact.  She has done this too another couple of mothers that were only worried about her who have kids that were born in the same hospital at the same time as her son.  Obviously just being a friend and not the father (who has never been part of his life) I feel I have to do as shes asked and not contact them.  It is heartbreaking for me having developed such a close relationship over five years but feel i dont have a leg to stand on.

[Bel_RO]

Hey @adz1066 , 

Welcome to ReachOut! I’d like to start off by acknowledging the effort you have made to speak to the mother about the concerns you have. I imagine this would’ve been a difficult conversation to have. I can see that you’ve been friends for such a long time and are only looking out for them and their 5-year-old child, as you care deeply about them both. I can see that you’re a caring and supportive friend, who has done an excellent job to try and support their friend! 

It sounds like you are concerned about the mother and their 5-year-old. If you feel comfortable sharing, I would like to learn more about what you mean by single mum going bad? I can hear that the mother also cut off contact with many other parents, which is understandably concerning. Having been friends for 25 years and been close for the past 5 years, it would definitely be heartbreaking for you to lose contact with them. I am wondering how you have been managing these concerns and feelings of heartbreak recently? 

While it would be understandably difficult to navigate where to go from here as you feel you have to respect her wishes and not contact them. I do encourage you to contact emergency services such as 000 for a welfare check, if the mother or child are at risk of any harm. 

I also want to let you know that in case you missed it, an email was sent to you yesterday to check in with you offline.