12-15-2017 08:20 PM
I think sometimes it can be about what I can take out rather than what I need to include, that is helpful. For example do I really need to clean the bathroom or cook dinner tonight?
12-15-2017 08:21 PM
I think what you've said is common for most of us @Chalke5, and a really good thing to mention. We tend to put everyone else first, then often feel we don't have the energy to look after ourselves.
I think self care is about doing things that re-energise our batteries and treating ourselves as we would our best friend. I think of it like this - if you saw your best friend so busy doing things for everyone around them but neglecting themselves, what would you say to them? We'd tell them how awesome they are and that they deserve to do something nice for themselves as well.
I think it's a matter of shutting out the needs of those around us for a bit, and putting some care into ourselves.
12-15-2017 08:25 PM
I think you're right @Chalke5, as long as when you decide yep, I'm not going to worry about the cleaning or cooking dinner - instead I'm going to lie in a deep bubble bath, or take myself out to the latest movie I really want to see.
Does that make sense?
12-15-2017 08:26 PM
12-15-2017 08:30 PM
We can often feel that doing something for ourselves is just adding something else on our already overflowing plate. I find though that when I make the effort to do something lovely for myself, it gives me the strength to tackle everything else on my plate.
I started going to the gym, and stopped for a couple of months, telling myself I just didn't have the energy. I noticed it though, I started not coping so well, and feeling overwhelmed quite quickly. I'm back there now, and love it, as it's half an hour where I'm out and not thinking about the stressors in life. I feel so much better!
12-15-2017 08:32 PM
Hi @Chalke5 - I totally hear you - and this might be ironic, but sometimes the care that people can give to others is much more effective when they are operating at 100% - you know like in an aeroplane safety video people are told to put their own breathing mask on first before putting them on other people because that is the best way for everyone to get through it?
12-15-2017 08:33 PM
Awesome point @Chalke5! We feel guilty doing something to make us feel better when someone around us is suffering. It shows what a loving person you are, and we need to be that loving person to ourselves as well, so we can give our best to those around us who aren't doing so well.
What do you think @Nick-RO?
12-15-2017 08:34 PM
The other point is that self care reflects something that we have to do for ourselves, something I do for me. What I really want is for someone else to take the load off. This does sound a bit selfish, but wouldn't it be nice for a neighbour or family member to offer to do something. Although I have not done this for anyone else the thought is always there.