02-28-2017 08:43 PM
@Myfeuilletine look forward to reading through your thread Will be good to start a discussion around some of these situations with young people, as well as the rapport your Son has with his Dad and how to manage that with the conflicting time zone. Will keep an eye out for your post!
03-01-2017 10:42 AM
Starting a topic is absolutely the best way to get other parents feedback on your specific issue. Please feel free to start one.
I've worked with lots of families that have a break down in the relationship with their teenager and any links between the teenager and another family member can be seen as a gift that can make all the difference.
It might hurt your heart that he's being horrible to you and loving to his Dad but on the information you've given, I'm going to make a guess and say he's angry towards you because you're the safe one. Deep down he knows that no matter how much he vents at you, you'll stick around. You're the constant.
It's very common for kids with an absent parent (and I say that with the upmost respect for Dad, I'm sure this is not by choice but necessity) to be angry about the absence. They just aren't always great at articulating it. And kids are smart enough to know where to direct their anger, most of the time. It doesn't at all mean that your husband needs to quit his job. It just means you guys need to work on some strategies to help your son feel more connected to Dad no matter where he is. And how to vent his anger appropriately so you're not wearing it.
How does that sound?
03-01-2017 04:55 PM
Thanks for this, @Ngaio-RO. Yes, it sounds quite possible that he is angry with the situation, and yes, I am a constant in his life (maybe to his mind, constantly on his case). My husband does try his best to keep in touch regularly with him and with my two other children. Our situation is actually much better now, compared to before, when we were in another country and he was here in Oz. We had to live with that for about 4 years, with my husband coming home to be with us for about 4 weeks every 6 or 8 months. So our current status (being in the same country now and getting to be with him every 2 or 4 weeks) is better than before.
I will start a thread about our situation and I thank you in advance for helping me out. Just being able to connect with other parents already makes me feel less burdened and worried. Thank you very much.
03-01-2017 04:57 PM
thanks very much, @Bree-RO! i will start my thread soon and I also look forward to getting advice from the community. this is very helpful, i feel better already actually . Thanks.
03-12-2017 09:30 PM
03-13-2017 12:35 PM
03-13-2017 03:36 PM - last edited on 03-13-2017 05:20 PM by Ngaio-RO
03-15-2017 10:52 AM
Hi @Diannebrown Your son sounds awesome. It's always wonderful to see boys being encouraged to dance. They have all the same inclinations towards music and moving their bodies as little girls do but, I have learnt from watching my son, they get a lot of grief for it. It saddened me that my daughter dancing was met with strangers saying 'you should do lessons' and my son heard things like "oh no, don't let your dad catch you doing that." (direct quote, btw). It's heart breaking.
I hope your son feels or experiences none of that!!
03-15-2017 11:00 AM
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