08-05-2022 12:31 PM - edited 08-05-2022 12:35 PM
08-05-2022 04:43 PM - last edited on 08-05-2022 05:25 PM by Erin_RO
Welcome to the community @sassX5 ! This does sound like a really difficult situation for you to be navigating and we really want to commend you on the great steps you and your fiance have taken together already. It sounds like many of the common challenges that can pop up in blended families have been overcome already for you both by clear communication, a lot of love and some boundary setting.
We can also understand why you have concerns about your stepdaughter's ongoing safety in the care of her biological mother given her history with substances and a number of domestic violence incidents. Do you have concerns about your stepdaughter's ongoing safety in her mother's care? We really encourage you and your fiance to consider escalating concerns to authorities in your community if you are ever concerned for her wellbeing.
You have asked some important questions here about the boundaries you have established with your fiance around finances and the ways he currently manages what feels like almost abusive contact from his ex-partner. I wonder how your partner responded to the boundaries you proposed to him?
It sounds like you're trying a manage a lot at the moment @sassX5. Aside from your partner, what kind of support do you have? Is there anyone in your life that you can talk to about what you're going through as a step-parent? If you think it might be useful for you, the National Stepfamily Resource Centre has some fantastic resources and referrals if you need some extra support.