04-29-2019 01:51 PM
04-29-2019 02:00 PM
@DavisMike22 Interesting point! Thanks for raising it.
It's definitely worth considering the purpose of gaming - I would argue that there is still a lot of value in everyone developing coping strategies, and having time for "fun" in life. Even as a adult, it is important to be able to switch off from work, and have fun, hobbies, chill out time etc.
@swim4life that's awesome to hear that you son wants to develop a career in an area he is passionate about. My partner works in digital art for games companies, and for him - gaming is a form of research - keeping up with the latest styles etc - and also a fun outlet for him.
I personally can't keep concentration on a game for too long- but I know for many young people, it's the opposite.
A lot of good discussion here too about how to maintain boundaries around gaming - for a lot of teen boys in particular, gaming is a way to remain socially engaged with peers and limiting it could lead to them feeling isolated.
How do you manage boundaries / balance ?
04-29-2019 02:21 PM - edited 04-29-2019 02:21 PM
We do tend to make 'deals' with him with regards to attitude and family time. He recently decided to live with his Dad in Perth so now we only have him during school holidays. Because we have one older and two younger children here, he has at times, found it confronting being back in a true 'family' environment as in Perth, he's an only child with immense gaming freedom.
The expectation is he will contribute to family time, household chores, do daily exercise and spend time with his siblings. He engages really well with board games and card games and I think this is something that we need to remember. We, as parents, are so busy, always doing something, constantly saying no to our kids because they should 'be able to entertain themselves' forget that interacting is not entertaining.
Family games are a big part of our interaction and assisting our children's learning. But they also need to be free to do their own thing.Within reason.
The one thing I'll say, we do not tolerate bad attitude because they need to stop gaming. You drop the game when asked or told to and you do it with a smile or I'll put the entire console in the bin. He knows I will too.
04-30-2019 03:27 AM
@gina-Ro I think cope time is great but I feel as if kids lives are already easy, especially compared to years in the past. The habits you develop as a child are the most important, at-least for me. That's why I endorse turning passions into careers.
@swim4life You bring up a good point. I think it is something you have to do at times just to fit in. Now I don't emphasize "fitting in" but at some point you have to realize what helps socially.
I'm interested to hear everyone's thoughts on effective moderation
04-30-2019 10:13 AM
I agree with you 100% on the point of their lives being so easy. Not to be 'that' person, but I'm a swimming teacher and the amount of children I have encountered who have never even heard the word no, and I'm not taking liberties here, I have actually had a parent tell me that they never use the word 'no', it is astounding.
I also happen to work in higher education, so I have both ends of the spectrum and in all honesty, the older ones are worse. Their tantrums over not getting the grade they think they deserve etc, as a parent, if it were my child, I'd be deeply ashamed.
I have been told many times that I'm tough on my children, four sons, I think I'm fair. I have expectations of them. God knows the world doesn't seem to have any good ones of them these days. If tough makes my kids polite, kind, socially aware and gives them an understanding of how lucky they are, then tough it is.
05-17-2019 01:01 PM
I going to be the old one out here... I spent a LOT of time gaming with my son.
Some of you may have heard of World of Warcraft. My son and I spent a LOT of time in that game when I was first separated.
I had a PC set up side by side with his and "Partied" with him and we did things together. It worked well for us and as it is a "World" we explored lots of things like the games "Auction House" where we learnt about buying and selling things in a market.. Gathering things and making items for Sale through "Crafting". We even spent time "Fishing!" together.
As we were together I was able to moderate the interaction with other players while he was younger.
This allowed me to shut down exposure to players who were behaving badly and encourage interaction with a "Kid Friendly" guild.
Fast forward years and I no longer play and he rarely does. He is to busy with his Uni friends and girl friend to play.
Looking back I would say it was positive for him, but only because he was monitored and moderated while learning about online gaming.