Topical Tuesday - How to help your teen if they self-harm

[Dakotah]

It’s early days, but giving up is not an option , I know with the right help we can get my happy kid back, I want her to have a life filled with joy and sadness and be able to cope with all the ups and downs life has to offer , I understand sometimes medication is a necessary evil but it will be a last resort for us. Hopefully changes to her diet will help

[Dakotah]

Sorry forgot to say thanks for the words of encouragement

[sunflowermom]

Our family has been dealing with self harm for about a year now.  At first I was so frightened and knew what she was up to when she went into the bathroom.  I know she is not trying to kill herself but looking for a way to cope with her pain.  My 15 year old daughter has moved from one form of self harm to another as she does not get the desired relief anymore.  She has been in therapy, we have been in family group and she has been in teen group and we continue ( about a year) she is on meds.  She is not always willing to try the techniques she has been taught to self sooth.  But I can tell you she is able to go more than 1 month without self harm when she is in a better "healing" state of mind.  For us self harm was the first sign that our daughter really needed help.  She is very good at hiding things.

@DakotahI am so happy to hear you getting help for your daughter.  I know its heart breaking as a parent when our children do this to themselves.  It hurts to know they are in this much pain that they would want to self harm.  I think diet change certainly wont hurt anything to try.  I know we have had some success with both of us doing regular mediation sessions in the backyard together.  We also sometimes enjoy yoga or going to the gym together.

Hang in there- I know this is a tough and scary road.  We are here to listen and offer support.

[Dakotah]

Thanks , I know we will get her to a better place using a combination of things, I am trying to avoid meds if possible and we are going to a drug free all natural clinic that has really good reviews .

[Jess1-RO]

Hi @sunflowermom,

I really resonated with this sentence you wrote "For us self harm was the first sign that our daughter really needed help"- I think that this is something that a lot of families can relate to  It sounds like the meditation and yoga have been some healthy ways for you and your daughter to connect and heal together. Through this time, healing for families with a child who is self harming is so important- Filling up your emotional resources sustains the support you can give another, and it is great to see the ways that you are working on healing together  

@Dakotah it sounds like you are taking a really holistic approach to supporting your daughter with her health. We are here for you through this time  I would be really interested to hear how the natural clinic and wellness spa go and I am hoping that this is something that can also promote healing for you and your daughter

[taokat]

Hi @Dakotah, I’m sorry to hear your daughter is struggling and self harming. It’s fantastic that you are so proactive in finding help and I’d be really keen to hear how you go.

My daughter is taking medication, but I’m currently reading a book by Dr Michael Mosley called “The Clever Guts Diet” which was given to me by a friend of my mum’s who has suffered with depression most of her life. She swears changing her diet has made an immense improvement to her mental health. 

I’m finding it really interesting and had no idea how much of a role our digestive system plays towards our natural chemical make up! 

[Dakotah]

I am a sugar gluten preservative free vegan and I noticed a huge change in my way of thinking , it is hard though she has a sugar addiction and her dad thinks it doesn’t is a big deal, but I am really cutting back on her junk.

[taokat]

My daughter loves sweet food too @Dakotah and as much as I limit it at home, it’s hard when she can go to the shops and buy rubbish. I’m with you, I don’t think it helps with my daughter’s mood, or her health. 

That’s fantastic that you’ve seen a positive change in your way of thinking. I’m keen to try a different way of eating and see the benefits 

[sunflowermom]

My Mother in law has just asked to have our daughters tested for Gluten Intolerance.  She has seen huge health benefits over the past 3 years illuminating Gluten in her diet and thinks this could be hereditary. I am all for trying anything to improve my family's well being.

[Mazz123]

Hi all i am going through similar stuff my daughter self harms after reading how a lot of parents deal with the situation it has given me a little hope again that this difficult time will pass and how to try different approaches when it comes to talking about the self harm with my daughter which is something i struggle with ,she knows i know about it and we talked about it a little but that was a while ago ,i can tell by her mood if she has self harmed 

The last time was last weekend she got angry at me cause i was laying on the sofa watching tv and she came down about 10pm saying she was hungry and she didnt like any thing that was in the kitchen i was so tiered i didnt say much then she stormed off saying why would i care anyway then the whole of Sunday she shut me out wouldnt speak to me or listen to me ,i felt so bad its very hard trying to please her all the time its draining me she is getting help at the moment so we will see how it goes she is 17 .

thanks for reading xx