29 Jun: Nurturing independence in teens

[AmyJay]

Also, if they break or lose an item not to replace it. Mr18s first nintendo was bought with his own savings and he still has it to this day!

My sister lives a few streets away and the local shops are about 1km away, so we started allowing the older two to walk up with the youngest to buy odds and ends. He loves the independence. He is given a little money to buy a drink himself. He has been ordering items across the counter for awhile and that has also increased his confidence (now mr9)

[Sophie-RO]

Ok and laaaaast Q guys: It can be difficult and worrying to facilitate your child’s growing independence. Concerns about safety, responsibilities and happiness can all make it difficult to let go - what's your top tip for 'letting go'?

[AmyJay]

Oh yes!  Good point @Sophie-RO Mr16 has a job and has saved enough for a second hand car next year when she starts driving. Mr18 did have a job for two years but is concentraing on his HSC (and gaming - a balance Mum, he keeps reminding us. 

[Sophie-RO]

It can be really hard for some younger teens to order over the counter - that is a great way to boost confidence to encourage and support the ones that find it hard them to do

[AmyJay]

We actually haven't gone down the pocket $ route. We ask them to do basic chores to help out the family. If they want extra they wait for birthdays, Christmas etc or -get a job!

[Sophie-RO]

Wow good on you Mr16!! Hehehe yes well that is true! On video games I came across this cool site: http://www.prescriptionpixel.com/

[AmyJay]

When eldest two were younger we used sticker charts- sticker for positive behaviours and when reach say 50 they could buy the toy they had nominated (in consultation with us for budget reasons).

[AmyJay]

Will check it out ta.

[AmyJay]

Part time work is wonderful for their development! Not only financial success but also great for confidence and building those "soft" or character skills.

[Maggiemay]

I encourage my kids to earn their own money.  My son referees football matches each weekend.  He plays football and loves being involved in the game.  The downside to that is that he has to wait until the end of the season to get paid.  The upside is that he budgets really well and that money normally lasts until the start of the next season.  He has money to cover the christmas school holidays and the next ones.

Unfortunately my daughter is not so motivated to get a paying job.  She does volunteer her time to netball coaching but that doesn't help when she wants new clothes or to go out.  

I'm trying to encourage her to get a part time job but her lack of self confidence is playing a big part in her not trying.  She is quite independent in as much that she can cook, clean, use a washing machine and is fantastic at looking after her niece and nephew.  She is fantastic wiith the kids that she coaches but is very hesitant to take that next step of getting into the workforce.

If @jacew is still online I would love to hear how he encouraged his daughter to get work.