31st May - ReachOut Parents Coaching! All your questions answered.

[taokat]

The ReachOut coaching is actually similar to the help I received from TBS. Although I did learn about what emotions my daughter was experiencing, and learnt about setting and maintaining boundaries, it was very different to seeing her counsellor or psychiatrist. 

[Ngaio-RO]

That's a great question @Beekeeper Thanks for asking. I actually don't know the answer to that so I'll leave it to the coaches.

@taokat  What an awesome outcome. It's funny how we start to doubt the fundamental stuff that others can see is absolutely true like should my daughter be with me. I'm so glad they helped you see it.

[taokat]

I feel that coaches have the practical techniques to get through situations, not just theoretical. A counsellor will tell you to 'try not to let that bother you' - a coach will gives you tools to use to help you not let that bother you, if that makes sense.

[TBS-Coach1]

Coaches work in partnership with parents to clarify what they want, what’s working and what's getting in the way, and develop a plan to move forward using effective parenting strategies and tools to strengthen their relationship with their teenager.

Remember our analogy though - we definitely need to know you have a sore knee (what the challenge is with your teenager & what they are facing), but it doesn't need to be the focus to move forward. Our work is with the parent & carer and how they can support their teen.

Together we look at what’s happening, explore why, and relate it to a particular parenting skill you can use and role model for your teen – if you’re arguing a lot the skill might be around how to improve communication, if your teen has withdrawn it might be on rebuilding that connection, if you or your teen is feeling overwhelmed it might be around building a stronger support network.

[Ngaio-RO]

Thanks for that @TBS-Coach1 I love how this is focused on supporting the teen.

And in relation to @Beekeeper 's question, my understanding is that you guys don't need to spend lots of sessions getting to know the parent and teenager because you're providing solutions and practical steps based on the situation and what's happening right now. Is that right?

Was that true for you too @taokat

[TBS-Coach1]

@taokat Absolutely - coaching is all about finding strategies and tools that will work for you and your specific situation.

[taokat]

@Ngaio-RO I am so grateful! There we times I'd tell my caseworker that my daughter needed to go into care, and i wasn't ever told no, and my daughter stayed with me! After communicating with me, before leaving she would ask me if I still wanted her to make arrangements and the answer was always no! I was helped to a point that it was my choice to keep going.

[TBS-Coach1]

@Ngaio-RO @taokat Interestingly, we are so focused on practical solutions that some parents may only want or need 1 coaching session to get them up and running, while others may want to complete a few more sessions that focus on specific support needs

[Ngaio-RO]

That's awesome @TBS-Coach1 I know for me, juggling kids and work etc, I like solutions that don't take ages to arrive at.

And are free! Which brings me to our next most asked question...

Is it free for everyone? I’m not on Centrelink, is it still free for me?

@taokat I'm so sorry you went through that but I'm so glad it shifted for you.  I'm so happy that coaching came along at the right time for you. Was it easy to fit in with your other commitments and around your daughter?

[taokat]

@Ngaio-RO and @TBS-Coach1, that's exactly how it was for us. The focus was on clarifiying what I wanted help with, and then working together to find solutions. I was involved in the input of finding solutions, and we came up with more than one, as the same things may not always work, and, there is no one solution for all. The focus was on finding solutions and looking at different ways to bring my daughter out of her room and make her feel like she has a role in our little family, and the way we do things.