Tonight's Wednesday Wrap - We're discussing the #MeToo movement with Ben-RO from our Youth Community

[Ben-RO]

You've got a smart cookie there @taokat! 

[taokat]

Yes @Ngaio-RO, I found her second point very interesting! I'm not sure whether her friends are using it - didn't ask that.

I asked if it triggered her and she said no which was awesome. She thinks it a great thing, and was upset that men had been complaining about it on social media. She acknowledges men get raped too, but felt women have the right to have this for ourselves as stats show women are the largest percentage of victims. She thought men could have their own.

[Ngaio-RO]

@Ben-RO What do you think about @taokat's daughter's views that people may feel pressured or they may feel invalidated if they don't join in?

Are you hearing things like that?

[Ben-RO]

Interestingly I'm not hearing that @Ngaio-RO. Most of our members who have been ready to talk about what they have survived have a lot of support from us and the professionals we offer them referrals to.  They know that it's their choice to disclose or not and feel okay with sharing- or not. 

With that being said, this is a fairly new thing for our members even if the phrase has it's origins back in 2006. So I'm conscious that this feeling is perhaps bubbling away in the minds of some of our members. We're readying ourselves for those conversations. 

[Ngaio-RO]

@taziness are you still with us? What do you think of this action?

So my next question for you @Ben-RO and @taokat is what you think of the #IHave which was started by men as a response to this?

[taokat]

That's really interesting @Ben-RO. As you say though, you can't know what's still coming up for some. It's awesome that you're preparing for possibilities.

I think that secure feeling of knowing they are supported really makes a difference. I'm stoked my girl is okay, but we do have open dialogue when she needs it, so there's no shame and she knows it wasn't her fault.

[taokat]

Hadn't heard of #IHave @Ngaio-RO. I saw another one #howcanichange, something like that.

So is #IHave the same but for men? Not men declaring they have assualted or harrassed or whatever?!

[Ngaio-RO]

I know you've done some really great work with your daughter @taokat so I'm wondering if she was ever in a situation where she could share that learning with a friend who has experienced something similar, do you think she would?

[Ben-RO]

Whoa, tricky question. 

When i wear my community manager shoes i think of the impact of that on those who are survivors of assault. What is that like to see people saying that? I am inclined to protect our space from people seeking support around opening up about what they have done we have too many survivors who are going to feel unsafe and we will protect them. 

From my own perspective... I am not sure yet. But i don't see how it helps.  How does this help those who are opening up about the suffering they have experienced with #metoo? This should be a moment for survivors and everyone else should probably STFU and listen. Pardon the French. 

[Ngaio-RO]

That was the recent shift @taokat it started as #iHave and it was supposed to be men stating when they had 'crossed a line' but quickly became men essentially admitting to some pretty full on crimes and then being told how brave and noble they were for admitting it.

It really upset a LOT of women so it was amended to #What I can do or something. I have to look it up.

That's what @Ben-RO is talking about. Men wading into it all.