Co parenting help

[Latte0721]

Hi! 

Not sure where to start but I just found out at my parent's interview in school two days ago that my ex was bringing a young baby. Later found out he is re-married 2.5 years ago. My 9 years old has been told to hide the secret and not to tell me. My relationship with my ex has never been ambical, police lodged a protection order against him and we were in and out of court for 3-4 years. He always wants to have more time with our son so he can stop paying me child support.  

My 9 y.o was bursting to tears that his dad was threatening him that he will face "consequences" if I interfere his new family (which is completely understandable). 

My question is if I should keep pretending that I don't know the existence of my ex's new family? or for the sake of my son, I should reach out to his dad and tell him some of my concerns? My son later tells me that he feels really lonely because "they" are a complete family and he often needs to stay in his room by himself so he doesn't "disturb". 

I am just hoping there is no detrimental effect on my son mentally and physically if I speak out. 

Thanks for everyone's help.

[Sophia-RO]

Hello @Latte0721, thank you for sharing your story with us. I am sorry to hear about what you and your son have been going through lately. I can't imgine how difficult that must be. It sounds like this situation has been really hard for your son as you are considering the effects that this may have on your son. It is a shame to hear that your son feels lonely when at his dads house. It is good that he has you for support as you sound like a very caring parent .

Have you been able to discuss this situation with anyone? I would strongly recommend it, as there is a lot to consider. If you are not feeling too comfortable sharing it with anyone that is close to you, there is always the option of calling up and speaking to a trained counsellor. One helpline that you can call to get some advice and support from is Parentline. We also offer a one-on-one support service that you can access to speak to a trained counsellor for some advice and support. Here is a link for some further information if you are interested. I hope that you find these resources to be helpful. Please feel free to keep us updated here on the forums