10-27-2021 04:44 AM
I've been with my boyfriend for over a year and a half and I have seen him be nothing but an amazing dad to his children he's there for every event with the children but his ex-wife has been so difficult. She's turned the children against him and has even made accusations about me abusing the children which I've never or would never even think about hurting them. She's blasted him on social media calling him a dead beat and just does every possible thing to ruin his life and trigger him....any tips?
10-27-2021 11:58 AM
Hi @may1020 and welcome to the forums.
It sounds like your family is going through a really difficult time with the conflict with your partner's ex-wife. Sounds really stressful.
Can I ask if there are court orders about shared custody? i.e. Does your partner have scheduled visits with his children? If so, would it be possible to minimise contact with his ex-wife and to go through a third party to arrange visits?
It's not the same situation, but I had to share care of a child with a person in the past where there was conflict and I found it helped a lot not to have any direct contact with them - it all went through a third party. That way they could say whatever they liked about me, but I lived in blissful ignorance and it helped a lot.
Obviously some situations are more complicated - but I'm wondering if it's an option to limit access to the things they say about you both and focus on strengthening the relationship with the kids?
If that's not possible and there has to be some interaction, there are some articles here on our website and here on the Raising Children Network that have some helpful tips for managing conflict with ex-partners.
We're really glad you reached out here for support and we're here for you.
11-05-2021 10:30 PM
11-06-2021 10:09 AM
06-29-2022 07:05 AM
06-29-2022 12:10 PM
Hi @StayingStrong, I am sorry to hear that you are finding yourself in a similar position. It sounds like you and your partner are going through a really tough time dealing with the conflict with your partner’s ex. It sounds really overwhelming.
It seems like you have some questions around how to manage the conflict you and your partner are experiencing in a legal sense. It might be helpful to access a legal support service such as Women’s Legal Service QLD, where you can access free legal help or information on domestic violence/abuse and complex family law.
It can feel really overwhelming when dealing with blended family conflict. I did also want to mention another service that may be helpful in terms of supporting you, 1800RESPECT is a counselling service that is available 24/7 to help you when you’re experiencing family abuse.
I am really glad you have reached out for support, we are here for you.
10-08-2022 10:13 AM
Has anyone had any success with dealing with the boyfriends toxic ex. I have the absolute same story ,and I hate to tell you it's been going on for close to 18 years.
Just finished 2 days of he'll with the 23 year old daughter sent on another mission from mom to create problems, I am so done ,can't take anymore of the games
10-08-2022 10:20 AM - last edited on 10-10-2022 12:03 PM by Iona_RO
I have been in the very identical situation and it's 18 years now. Kids come to create problems to make mom happy it's the only way they bond. I am at my wits end having a total breakdown. I can't find any solution, they do things in a way you can't involve police. I have PTSD and they are a big cause of it. If anyone has any answers please let me know.
10-08-2022 01:35 PM
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