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chippy

Year 7.

My son is in year 7.  It's been a year of unacceptable behaviour, rude and disruptive to teachers and family. He's failing school and has no commitment to his studies and family.  He cares only for this friends and gaming.  Although, he does cook and do his chores with minimum complaints.  As his mum, I worry about him.  I want to do what's best.

Active scribe
dandelion

Re: Year 7.

Hi - thanks for your post. 

It sounds like he's angry and lashing out. So, year 7 = a new school? Any friends go with him? Can be verbalise why he's outing out? Is this new behaviour, or was he like this at primary school? 

 

I will admit, apart from those questions, I'm not too sure. He sounds happy enough at home, doing chores and cooking. Is there a school counsellor you could talk to, or maybe someone outside of school - to provide him a safe space to talk?

Active scribe
chippy

Re: Year 7.

Yes.  A new school, but with a good group of friends.  He spends additional time with his dad at the moment and I have encouraged stronger boundaries which have helped him to settle down.  I have encouraged him to speak withe the school counsellor, but he's not interested.  More time with his dad seems to help.  I think he gets sick of my "lectures" and his younger sibling who is "really annoying.  This could be why he's angry. 

 

In primary school he wasn't quite like this, although he's alway been outspoken, at this was accepted by his year 6 teacher.  Not so much with this current teachers though.  Although, I feel his "outspoken" nature tends to be less tolerated.

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TOM-RO

Re: Year 7.

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Hi @chippy 

 

Thanks so much for sharing your story with us. I'm sure many users on the forum will benefit from a discussion like this. You sound like a beautiful mum who really wants the best for their child. 

 

If you don't mind me asking, how long have you and his father been separated? From your past posts, it doesn't sound like you and his father separated recently, but if you have, sometimes an event like that can stress the child and impact their behaviour. 

 

Also, it sounds like your son may be around the age where hormones start running wild, which could explain changes in his mood and behaviour.

 

Teenage years are generally quite a vulnerable time, with lots going on, lots to adjust to, and lots to figure out about themselves.  Many teenagers are tackling issues around low self-esteem, peer-pressure, wanting to fit in and be accepted, and so on. I guess what I'm trying to say is that it is hard to determine what might be causing this change in your son's mood/ behaviour. It's likely a combination of things. The best way might be to ask him directly if you haven't already. 

 

A really good resource for parents in your situation (if you're from Australia) is Parentline, as they offer free and confidential counselling and support to parents and carers on any parenting issues they may be facing. They may be able to help you navigate this situation with your son, support you, and also refer you to any useful services in your area. Parenting can be stressful, so it's important you look after yourself in this situation too Smiley Happy

 

The number for Parentline differs per state. Scroll to the bottom of this page to see which number to call if you're interested. 

Active scribe
chippy

Re: Year 7.

Hi there Tom-ro,

 

His dad and I have been separated for about 5 years now.  We are re settled into live as single parents and have managed to get along really well.  So, that area is quite good really.  We support each other and are united as much as possible.

 

Teenage years.  Yes.  Absolutely.  Actually my son and I just had a chat.  He's failing his exams and I expressed my concerns.  His response was , "Mum, i really don't want a lecture.  I know in time that I will settle down and realise that I need to do better".  "I want you to be there for me when I ask and when you know I need you to be".  That was straight from the horses mouth.

 

He was articulate, to the point and honest.  I feel that starting high school mixed with all the teenage issues and what not is a really struggle.  

 

Plus, thank you for taking the time to respond to my comments.

Community Manager
Bre-RO

Re: Year 7.

Hi @chippy 

 

Hope you don't mind me joining in on this conversation. It's great to hear that his dad and yourself are doing so well at co-parenting! That would make times like this much easier to manage. It sounds like time with Dad is a positive right now. 

 

How do you feel about  what your son expressed to you? I agree, very to the point and honest! 

 

Based off that one comment it seems that he knows that you are a support to him and that he has insight into his behaviours. Which is a really good thing. 

 

We're here to give support as you go through the challenges of teenage years Heart Hope to hear back from you soon.