Hi @Sandee and @Sunshine72    It is so nice to witness you both supporting each other through your shared challenges. It is wonderful you have turned your pain into a supportive friendship.    For the safety of all community members, we do not have capacity to allow private messages as we would be unable to safely moderate this space. We require all community members to maintain anonymity. This is to protect the confidentiality of both the community members and their young people. Please see our community guidelines and the below excerpt:   "Stay anonymous at all times: please don’t post any information that could identify you or anyone you’re posting about, including school names/ teachers, or link to personal information like blogs or social media accounts. Please respect other people’s anonymity, even if you think you may know them in real life."    If in the future, you ever feel uncomfortable about something you have written being on this public forum feel free to contact us and we can remove the relevant post.   The Online Community Team ... View more

Hi @mmjmmj    Welcome to the ReachOut Parents forum.   We can hear from your posts you are coping with a lot right now and are feeling stuck about what you can do to help your teen. Your confusion is understandable as it sounds like you have tried many avenues for support and you are not seeing the outcomes you have hoped for. That would be so frustrating for any parent and it is clear how much you love and want what is best for your child. Do you have any supportive people in your life you are able to talk to about what is going on?   It sounds like you have tried a lot already but if you are interested we have some great resources for parents on our website such as supporting and communicating with teenagers you may like to read over. Additionally, if you are interested we have a free coaching service for parents of teenagers who are 12-18 years old. This service helps you find and put into practice solutions relevant to your individual situation. You can find more information here and here.   Here is an article about teenage rights and responsibilities in regard to accessing healthcare, including confidentiality. From the age of 14 teenagers, do have the rights to make certain decisions regarding their health care, including mental health however there are limitations until the age of 16. If you would like further information specific to mental health care you could contact the Australian Psychological Society, who is the regulatory body for psychologists in Australia they should be able to explain your rights in detail or put you in touch with someone who can.   We would also like to remind you to take some time to care for yourself. It sounds like you are putting so much energy into your teenagers wellbeing, it is important to look after yourself as well. What kinds of things do you do to fill up your cup when you are going through stress? ... View more

Hi @Insaaf    I hear that you are struggling right now and looking for solutions you can implement tonight. It's understandable you are feeling worried as you want to support both your children and it can be difficult to balance both their needs. Unfortunately, we are unable to give you direct advice on what to do or say. I wonder if you have ever reached out to Parentline for support? They are professional counsellors available over the phone until 9pm and can help talk through a parenting concern with you.   I am also concerned that you mention your daughter currently manages her stress by restricting her eating. Do you know how long she has been doing this? I wonder if it is worth having a discussion with her when she is less stressed about other coping mechanisms she could experiment with. This article has some suggestions on managing stress that may give you some ideas.   I hope you are able to also take the time tonight to do something nice for yourself as I hear you too are experiencing a great deal of stress.    All the best. ... View more

Hi @Insaaf    Welcome to the ReachOut Parents Forum, we are glad you have found us!   Sounds like dynamics are challenging between your children at the moment.  It must be so difficult as a parent to watch your children struggle and to manage the competing needs of both your children during times of conflict. I am sure it is difficult for you to see them struggling, well done for Reaching Out for help. Firstly, I would just like to check in on how you are coping with all this. It’s tough being a parent, do you have any supports for yourself at the moment?   You mentioned your teenager is rude to her younger sibling when she is stressed, have you had an opportunity to have a chat with her and explore the source of her stress? I wonder if this may be an opportunity to teach your older child some coping skills for handling stress. The teenage years are full of new challenges, and kids often haven’t yet developed the resources to handle these situations well as they are very much still learning and growing. These skills are useful strategies that will benefit her throughout her life during challenging times.   I also hear that your younger child is mimicking her big sister. It is likely she considers big sister a role model and looks up to her, so copying this behavior, while undesirable, is very natural. I have a suspicion that if she sees her big sister practicing some positive coping skills, similarly, she may copy those too.   On our website we have some information on stress and effective coping skills in teenagers. Raising Children has an article on discipline strategies for teens. Maybe you could have a read over these and see if there are any helpful ideas that may work for your family? ... View more

Hi @Amparent    Welcome to the ReachOut Parent’s forum, we are so glad you have found us! Break ups can be so tricky at any age especially when you still care about the person, it’s no wonder your daughter is feeling confused. They are very lucky to have you supporting them through this. We have some articles on our website you could read about romantic relationships and how to help your teen through a break up. I also wonder if you may like to share these articles on breaking up respectfully and breaking up with someone you still care about with your daughter? It sounds like you have an open and communicative relationship with your daughter which is amazing, I am wondering what other supports your daughter has? Does she have a good friend she also feels able to confide in? Thank you for opening up to us.  ... View more

Hi @Daisy18    I just want to let you know that from my perspective you are doing an amazing job supporting your son while respecting his boundaries. Even if he is not ready to talk right now, you continuing to reach out lets him know you will be there when he is ready. It is encouraging that the school has been supportive. Your openness to explore all the options to relieve your son of additional pressure so he can prioritize his mental health, for now, shows how hard you are working to be a supportive parent and to advocate for your sons’ best interests.   I am glad to hear you have your own supports and coping strategies in place. I hear that you are overwhelmed right now which is completely understandable, I know from experience that watching our child in pain feels unbearable. I encourage you to be kind to yourself as you continue to navigate this difficult time.   I wonder if it would be helpful for you to prep for the GP appointment by taking down some notes. For example, you might like to ask how long you can expect to wait before seeing improvement in your son’s mood in response to the medication or what you can do to support your son, from your GPs perspective, while waiting to see the psychiatrist. You may also like to start noting things down now in preparation for your son’s psychiatry appointment.   Take care and please continue to reach out to us for support during this challenging time. ... View more