Hi there @kimiekim - thanks for the update really appreciate it!
It is really positive news that you are looking into counselling for yourself right now. You have probably heard this saying before, but "you can't pour from an empty cup" - you can only be effective at doing your job as a carer if you are feeling strong and emotionally centred. With all the stresses that you are dealing with daily it seems to me that your emotional cup could use a top up!
A local councellor for you could really add value to you both in terms of supporting you emotionally and helping you process how being in your situation is affecting your emotional responses to the issues that you face, but ideally also talk to you about practical steps that you can take within the home to communicate with your step daughter and work with her to set agreed-upon boundaries that will, in the long run, make day-to-day life much more manageable.
I was also really happy to hear that your step daughter is receptive to going to councelling and I am sorry that your experiences so far have not worked out. In the long run, this might be a blessing in disguise. From my own personal experience I needed time to find a councellor who was a good fit with me which took a while. There are so many different types of support available and finding out what is best for her situation is really important so it might be a good thing that her first councellor realised that she needs a different type of support before going too far down that road.
I am hearing from your post that you are worrying about the kinds of things that your step daughter might talk about in her sessions. To put your mind at ease this could be something that you bring up both with your own councellor or privately with your step daughter's councellor who might be able to talk you through what processes are in place to deal with situations like this?
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