My boy has been struggling for a while now. In 8th & 9th grade (I’m in the US) he had a close knit group of friends. At the end of 9th grade they all started experimenting with pot. It turned into an addiction for all the boys. That’s all they would do when they would hang out. It scared the crap out of me. He stopped getting invites to hang out. Which I don’t understand. He was ok with staying home so he could smoke and play video games (he’s very social and happy when he plays online with various people). We dealt with this until about a month ago (grade 11). He came home from school and I could tell he was sad. He’s very open with me and we can talk about anything. I literally felt my heart break when he said he has no friends. He’s well liked, he’s funny, he’s a gentleman and very smart. He said he is going to quit smoking pot because when he went to take a math test he realized he knew nothing about it and he related that to his short term memory loss from smoking. He hates that he hasn’t been a great example to his 2 younger brothers, who are 14 yo twins. He hates sneaking around and lying to us. He has a job and all his money was being spent to support his habit, he is a saver mostly so this was a sickening feeling for him. He said “he has no one waiting for him when he gets to school”, “I’m lonely” and “I miss my friends”. He decided then and there that he was done and he’s been clean for 6 weeks. I’ve never been prouder. His attitude has improved 10 fold, he’s back to being my sweet lil man. He started a different job that pays very well. He works from 4:00-8:00 M-Th. He says he doesn’t have time for himself. He’s in college classes so that keeps him pretty busy as well. I’d hoped that starting a new job would bring him some new friends. He has a few female friends that he will hang out with every once in a while. I encourage him constantly to reach out to these boys from school he talks about but he says he “doesn’t know them”. I tell him that’s how you get to know them. His old friends are still heavily smoking pot and him, and I, don’t think that would be a good environment for him. He misses the memories with them which I can understand. When I see my son so upset I can’t help but cry and it feels like my heart is being ripped out of my chest. I wish so badly that I could fix this for him, take his pain. I seriously just want to get him through high school because college is a whole new you and new friends. You reinvent yourself. I don’t know what to do. I feel helpless. Back story: I am bipolar and depression runs deep in my family. He was on an antidepressant two years ago for 18 months. His dr felt that because he is still growing, emotionally and physically, we should wean him off of them and see how it goes. I think he is fine w/o it. It’s just these sad times that will hit him hard. He tries to have a good attitude and is mostly a happy kid. He’s not about joining clubs at school, we don’t attend a church if any kind so I’ve got to find another way to bring him out of his shell and put himself out there without fear of rejection. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
... View more
