Hi.   This is my first post as I am new to this site today.  My son is 18 years old and it has only ever been him and I since he was born.  We live in a very small flat but he has everything he needs and never wanted for anything growing up (by that, I mean he always got what his friends had so he never missed out).  I have worked full-time all my life since I was 16 and now I am 51.  My son's father left me when I was 7 months pregnant saying he "just couldnt do this!!"..   My son and I have always had a close relationship.  He was very badly bullied in secondary school so left at 16.  He has a job working in a shop which I think he enjoys.  He has joined a gym and has his own friends.  The problem I have is that I feel like I am living with a complete stranger.  He leaves a mess all over the place which I have to clean up all the time.  I have tried speaking to him, shouting at him, and ignoring it and I have to clean it up as it really does my head in.  I do not take any housekeeping money from him as he does not earn a lot, but he thinks nothing of making a mess of my flat, he is happy to eat some of the food I buy (sometimes he buys his own food) and when I DO speak to him he is so disrespectful when he speaks back to me.  His room is always like a pigsty!!  I dont know who this person is.  He just completely ignores me.  Its as though, to him, I am not even there!!   He was diagnosed with Crohn's disease last year and his medication is now steady and he knows what he is doing and is managing fine.  He has obviously forgotten all the love and support he got from me when he was so unwell, all the trips to see specialists and experts, all the visits to the hospital and everything that was done for him then.  When he comes home from work, he goes straight to his room and doesnt even say "Hi", when he goes to work he just leaves and doesnt say "Bye".  Its like living with a non-paying, ignorant, messy lodger.   Has anyone else experienced this??   I even leave him notes and send text messages, both of which he ignores.  I dont want to ask him to leave but he is clearly not happy living with me and he is making my life a misery.  My friends and family tell me to "just ignore him and he will snap out of it when he is ready"... When HE is ready??  ...Hello..??  What about me??   Can anyone offer up any advice.  I would be really grateful!!   I just cannot believe that the boy I sacrificed so much for, did the best I could for him given that his father was never there, is now treating me like crap.  It is soul destroying and really bringing me down!!   XXXXXX ... View more