Thank you so much for your reply. I learnt of her part-time sex work approx 2yrs ago from someone else and confronted her. It was terribly distressing as it is far from our ideal visions of our beautiful baby girls. Added to that, I have a very challenging relationship with her sister (we all have challenges with her), so I felt a failure as a mum, even though I gave my world to them. I can't talk about her sex work with her- it still upsets me too much, but I've accepted its her choice and it has just bubbled in tne background. My main concern now is that it is this night work which caused her to be laid off at work - a very good job that complemented her studies. She would often turn up for work late, until she became unreliable and they ceased her employment. Now unemployed, she's turned to the sex work, hence sleeping all day, and given up her efforts of finding a job. She suffers anxiety and I know being out of work in the longer term will make her depressed, but she isn't making appropriate choices to look for work. My concerns are that this will continue into the long term and result in her severe depression and potentially even worse. The matters are made much worse that there are very few people I can talk to, as opening up about your child being a sex worker isn't a typical or even acceptable thing to most. I have sought counselling and content with my way of dealing with her choice, but now want tips on ways to guide her to oit the night work aside and focus on finding a job which will create a future that is fulfilling and complements her studies. ... View more

Is there no one that can help me guide her? She's sleeping all day due to the night time job. I believe she's choosing this over a job that will help her career (that she had and lost) and when she's been out of work in the longer term her self esteem will plummet. She suffers anxiety and depression already - taking this path will only make these matters much worse. I understand I can't change her or make her do anything, but please some assistance on how to guide and support her to turn this around would be helpful. ... View more

Thank you Jo Jo ... View more

Thanks Gina & Tulip,   my my daughter and I caught up today for a cuppa and chat. It is evident she is aware of my love for her, but I have also made it known that I do not agree or support her current job, and probably never will. However I have accepted that this is her choice and her life to lead. She respects this.    It was a massive shock, and my first instinct was to try and change things and protect her. The hardest thing was acknowledging I had no control of this and couldn't make her change her mind.   We have recently attended counselling together to work on getting our relationship back on track. I will then continue going on my own to work on me and my future. I am a very positive person and have wonderful friendship support. There is however a limit to what I would tell them about the current situation, as I feel they too would be shocked by the news. I also don't want others to judge her. So, I'll instead spend quality time with my friends and family and try to enjoy life as much as I have in the past. ... View more

My daughter did not tell me. I leant from someone else, then confronted her. You can imagine how terribly awful that was. She hid this from me because she knew I wouldn't be happy.    I also do not believe she is doing this to hurt me, but she now knows how much this hurts and is now knowingly hurting me. I get that she is an adult and is making her own decisions and not all will agree with my values and desires for her future.   i will always love her, but I don't believe I have to support her in every decision she makes, especially those that can be harmful to her body, mind and spirit and hurtful to her family.   i have had an incredibly difficult time with my other daughter for approx 15 years, and now this new episode starts with the other. Together with ongoing illness, an unhappy past marriage, etc this difficulty in my family life has spanned over 30 years and effects my health, which is a life threatening illness. While your response is ideal, there is a time where I need to stand up and live my own life rather than supporting everyone else every step of the way. The love of my daughter is not in question. As a parent and role model, I believe it's my role to teach her what is/not acceptable to me and what level I will support and what is pushes me too far, rather than make her feel that every decision she makes is ok.     ... View more

Many thanks. My daughter is 25. Yes, it is a massive shock as it's made me look at her differently and I feel like she is not someone i realised she was. My main hurt comes from the fact that she knows how much this hurts me, and would do other people if they knew, but this appears to be more important than our relationship. I struggle of course with what happens in an evening's work and why she would want this to be her future. Ive had some time out but still struggle to accept this. I probably always will. We are starting to work on our relationship which took a back step when i reacted badly to the fact i could not control this. Although I feel our relationship will never be the same while she's doing this. I'm not sure id we're better off attending counselling together or separately. ... View more

She knows this hurts me very much, and doesn't want our relationship to change, but she refuses to stop. The hurt comes from her lack of care of the hurt this has caused us. ... View more

Current I have so much pain, but no one to talk to. I couldn't tell anyone else through shame, and also she doesn't want me to tell anyone.  My prospective partners would not understand, and I'd be ashamed to tell them.    I will always love her, but being treated like this hurts too much. I feel I have to start looking after myself, as the trust has been ruined between us. I feel I need to distance myself from her to a degree to avoid continual hurt by her.     ... View more