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TooConfused29 · ‎08-08-2018

Hi Sunflowermoon and Taylor-RO, thankyou Sunflower moon - yes it is really upsetting and something which i fell I should try to do soething about, however i also need to think of myself and how doing anything might impact on my current situation. Taylor-RO I was so upset over all this especially the window that I tried to find some one to tell and ask advice. That was how I found this organization and forum. About looking after myself, I do have really good back up on that issue only that was not available until yesterday. A good chat about all this and I have decided that I will just wait and see how it all pans out and try not to get too concerned. My fears may not eventuate [?] Eventually the parents will have to do something positive, the blinkers will have to come off - eventually. Thanks for caring, lots of luck to all, take care TooConfused29

TooConfused29 · ‎08-07-2018

Hi everyone, This teen has been in my life since the day he was born. He was a dear little boy but allowed to just do anything, even as a toddler and 3 or 4 yr old. I minded him while his parents worked every evening Mon-Fri. I took him to soccer training and matches once that started ran him to music lessons supervised homework, picked him up from school. He used to call me and grandpa he second parents. That has all gone. This year I no longer take him anywhere - his mother does. Sometimes when his father can fit it in he goes to the matches as well. ---got to watch his fantastic child. May be on the soccer field but elsewhere NO. [That sounds awful - but it is the reality] I am deaf - very deaf - I have one hearing aid and an 18mths old cochlear implant. Even so it is still hard when people yell at me from behind. It does not help. He is just like everyone else - they just do not understand. He looks at me as though I am a complete idiot as do the other two. So....... NO I do not have any time with him to talk about anything. Perhaps I should just 'turn a blind eye' on it all and let them deal with whatever transpires, after all they are his parents and responsible for him and how he turns out. That action is maybe the hardest of all but my only choice. I do not know why this is upsetting me so much - I am frustrated and angry but helpless - I feel like a snake that has been chopped but not broken. or a rat in a corner. TooConfused29

TooConfused29 · ‎08-06-2018

Hi Jess1-RO Finally getting a hang of how this site works --- so I'm here again. Thank you for your reply. Firstly , it is not that the parents do not want me to say anything. I just feel that they may not even be aware of all this damage. If I say something it will look like I am snooping. It would cause a dreadful row. I do not know what they know or do not know. No one cleans his room not even the teen himself. The room never gets any air through it. He shuts himself in there all day and night except for coming out to eat and sometimes watch a bit of TV. He does nothing about the place- no chores of any kind. I do not think that they have sought help- I would not know as that would not be discussed with me. From what I have observed it looks like they expect this to pass by - eventually stop....... well I would no even dare suggest that he has a problem. I have to consider myself first and foremost but I am really worried about this behaviour escalating. I was shocked when I came across the holes in the wall but today this window has really rattled my cage... next year he will be 17 and considered an adult so...... he will also have a car - courtesy of his father...... that worries me even more. Writing this has made me a lot more calm but It has not yest given me clarity of thought. See what transpires. TooConfused29

TooConfused29 · ‎08-06-2018

Hi, I am a grandparent, living with one of my children and their partner and only child - a boy aged 16. This co-living is a relatively new set up but that is not my issue right now. This teen has been destructive with things all his life - he has not been chastised except for being told to get out of the way. He manipulates both parents who treat him like a demigod. He has always been given the best and most expensive of presents, especially by his father. Now he screams and yells at the computer games. He has broken the controls that are now taped up with sticky tape. Earlier the TV remotes suffered the same. This is not new behaviour, it has been going on since he was about 4/5yrs old. As a child his bedroom was a total shambles with toys everywhere - always- plus any other junk he just tossed on the floor ---now his room is just the same. He also used to dig holes in the gyprock walls beside his bed. When we moved in together, he continued all this screaming at the computer games even when in the lounge room when it was attached to the large TV screen and so very loud. In the past 18months he has now had his matress replaced as he had ripped huge chunks of the foam out of the inner parts and off the top. The wall beside his bed has huge holes in it the shape and size of his feet which are quite large. He has conveniently hidden these by draping the curtain across and securing it by his bed and doonas. His room stinks - no one cleans it - junk, clothes food empty cartons etc everywhere. Yesterday I went in to open the window to let some air through to alleviate the smell, only to discover that the sliding window has been broken and taped over. It is hard to see from the outside. Again the curtain covers the damage and the scraps of broken glass lying there. I cried all yesterday morning. He is a really good soccer goal keeper but I am afraid for him - if this behaviour continues he is going to do bigger and worse damage to things - hopefully not people but it could happen. He is quite well developed as he trains at a gym and has been training 3 nights a week for the soccer for several years. I really do not know how to deal with this - ignoring it is not going to help but I cannot see his parents accepting me saying anything. Any Ideas?

Date Registered	‎08-06-2018 10:20 AM
Date Last Visited	‎08-08-2018 12:24 PM
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Date Last Visited	‎08-08-2018 12:24 PM

About TooConfused29

About TooConfused29

About TooConfused29

Re: destructive teenager

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destructive teenager