Good afternoon! The other day I had a big fight with my dad because of my birthday and I really need some advice. A month and a half ago, my boyfriend began to plan my 25th birthday, which falls on a Saturday. The bf asked me not to plan anything on this day, because he wants to make it special. We live in the US, my parents are in Russia but my dad has a greencard so he comes here pretty frequently. 10 days ago, my dad calls me and says that he is on his way to a travel agency to buy tickets with miles to fly to the US for my birthday in 2 weeks. I replied that it’s great, we’ll be at home, the only thing is that my boyfriend planned a surprise on my birthday, so we will celebrate together with dad the next day if he does not mind. Dad said no problem, he’ll go somewhere, and the next day we will go to my grandmother to celebrate. Yesterday I called my dad to confirm and say that on the day of my birthday something will happen at our house ( I dont know what exactly because my bf organized something) from 3 to 10pm and so I asked my dad to plan something for this period of time, for example, go to my aunt's or grandmother's. Additionally I said that I will take a day off at work while he is here to spend more time together since smth is being planned for my day. Dad said sure, OK. Then he recalls that my bday falls on a Saturday, he starts yelling at me with f words and asking why he should go somewhere and then hangs up. I tried calling him back - he did not respond. Then he called me to say that the tickets cannot be returned because they were bought with miles and that I should reserve a hotel for him. I answer no and ask him if we can talk calmly. He yells no. My bf is in shock, I’m in tears, so my bf has to reveal to me the whole surprise plan and explain that friends were supposed to come to our house at 3pm to stick posters, balloons, etc. while I and my boyfriend are having dinner at a restaurant, then we would return home around 9pm where friends and all of us have fun together. My dad does not speak English, the bf and friends are all foreigners, so my bf decided that my dad would not be comfortable at home with young people, strangers who don't speak Russian (and I can understand that). I called my dad again, told him the whole plan, said that we can go have dinner the 3 of us and then continue to party together with friends if he wants to. He yelled at me again, I started to cry badly and couldn’t say anything else in reply and so I dropped the call. After all of this, I wrote a long message to my dad apologizing if I offended him somehow, that it was not my intention at all.. (although he offended me) . He ignored my message even though he read it. I don’t understand why my dad yells at me in such a situation, because it is my birthday. I suggested celebrating the holiday the next day and I said I will take a day off from work so we can spend a whole extra day together... Why does he have the right to spoil my surprise? Please write your opinion on the situation, I really want to understand: maybe I am really wrong?
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