Thank you for your reply. Just writing the post and reading your response has been helpful so "thank you". Firstly, my daughter has made some new and great friends after she split with the BF, but that wasn't easy. Secondly, I have people I can talk to as well, but generally speaking, I don't want to. I have only just been able to tell my husband a little more about the detail in the aftermath and that is probably progress for me as well. I used to always jokingly say to the BF that I would send him a bill one day for all that he "owed" me/us but I actually think it isn't a bad idea now. I more than likely wouldn't send it, but I still might feel better. Thanks again for your reply.
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My daughter dated a boy for about 18 months from the end of year 11 to the start of uni. He was literally all over her all the time and it was obvious they were intimate. It was hard to watch but on occasions my husband and I tried to slow things down but it never went well. He was a nice lad who came with good credentials but did seem to be very needy and we were very wary at the beginning. My daughter was coping with complex health issues but was mainly happy. She supported him through year 12 and helped to get him to university. At the end of year 12 he let her down with a number of things and I think she started to wonder (as we parents questioned these things as well) if she should continue the relationship. The problem was we had grown to really like this boy as he was spending a lot of time “living” with us - we had made strong emotional connections. My daughter decided that perhaps this person wasn’t right for her emotionally as he continued to disappoint in small ways but enough to give her doubts about his true involvement and knowing she was quite ill and had just started uni...so she broke up with him. Our family was devastated (and he made out he was as well to us) and “hated” on her for awhile until...only a very short while later this boy is obviously not doing it tough as he was already very clearly moving on. It would be inappropriate for me to say what happened that made my daughter realise her decision had been the right one but it hurt big time and it was enough to emotionally destroy our daughter as she had a lot to deal with. It was so not pleasant what she went through and will probably be scarred for a very long time. He seems to be the type of person who is slightly impulsive and hopes to talk his way out of things later which is obviously a very bad strategy. She has tried to move on by concentrating on her studies, attending to her medical issues and improving her emotional health but it has hurt her very deeply to give so much to somebody to find out that perhaps they were only “fake”. She is possibly doing better now though than what her mother is. My husband is sad and disappointed as this lad took so much from us and so was I for a long time but now I can’t stop “hating” him. I just can not shake him off and now that it would appear after some casual girls he has moved onto another girl. Maybe the next family won’t let him into their family as easily as what we did or do as much for him as what we did and a small part of me hopes that his true colours shine through pretty quickly but I know that is not nice but I can’t help it. I don’t want revenge but I do wish I could look him in the eye and tell him exactly what his actions did to my daughter and watch him squirm as I tell him in no uncertain terms that he obviously didn’t respect her or us at all. I wonder why I can’t let this go but I think I know the answers to that - I feel like he took a part of my daughter that he should never have had and we “fell” for him and now I feel kind of silly and embarrassed as he has been able to forget her so easily. I will just have to give it more time I guess. My story is probably not uncommon to many others but you certainly feel like you are the only silly person to be taken for a ride.
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