Thank you for your response!!!!     I have a 16 year old.  Started smoking at 14 and has definitely increased his usage.  He has a history of anxiety and racing thoughts.  He also has a very low self esteem, that he plays off well to those around him.  I have tried counseling for him and he is not invested and refuses.  Counselors won't see him past the 3rd session because it is not beneficial if he is not engaging.  He tells me pot is the one thing that calms his mind.  So I do know part of why he uses.  I DO NOT condone it.  I also know I can't "punish him" our of using.  So tired of hearing that from people and seeing it on the internet as a method to use.  DOES NOT work!.  I have tried everything.  Even set boundaries around him using.  Trying to see if I can at least get it regulated before it spirals out of control and other things start into the mix, alcohol already has. My biggest fear is his father is an addict and an alcoholic.  Hoped me taking the kids and leaving when they were little could have helped them to not fall into the cycle.  My ex's entire family struggles with addiction or has dies from overdose, suicide or liver failure due to alcohol use.  I am terrified for my son.  Honestly don't know what to do.  Can't talk to anyone in my family about it because they go into "judgmental" zone.  They do not get trauma and they do not get addiction.  A lot of them treat him like he is a bad kid or have stopped talking to him all together.  Not helpful, just pushes him further into his low self esteem and depression and increases the drug use.   Sorry this went on and on.  Feeling like a horrible mother and like I am losing my child.   ... View more