Hello all....this is my first time posting here.  I found this forum this morning as I really need some help.  Currently, my eyes are half swollen shut from crying so much yesterday.  I am having major issues with my daughters...ages 15 and 17 (almost 18).  Their father and i are divorced and I am remarried.  We have been apart for 6 years so this isnt a new thing.  We live close to each other for the kids sake.  Their father allows them to get away with basically anything and do whatever they want.  I am different and while I am pretty lenient, I have rules.  No drinking, smoking, lying, etc.  Because of this, it causes many problems.  They like being at my house because I buy them things and it is a much cleaner environment.  They like staying with their father because he allows them to do whatever they want and there is very little parenting.  My older daughter and I were estranged for a couple months due to her behavior and lack of respect.  Calling me every name in the book and not listening.  Police were even involved.  We recently rekindled the relationship but she continues to be disrespectful, scream at me, and not listen.  My husband who has been in their lives for three years snapped for the first time ever yesterday and told her to "Get the hell out of the house" while she was screaming at me.  It resulted in a very bad end result where both daughters say they will never come back to my house due to my husband yelling at them to leave.  I am so sad that it came to that as I only want a healthy relationship with my kids.  They have done very horrible things to me in the past one of which included placing a bag of horse **bleep** on my front porch.  Yes, that is sadly true.  I am a good mom, work full-time, have family dinners, buy them things and go above and beyond for them.  The problem arises when I tell them no or I confront them about being sneaky with drinking/smoking.  I have had to install cameras around the exterior of my house to make sure they do not bring certain people in, I have to lock my bedroom door with a key when I leave so that they do not take or "borrow" my items that they never return.  I am just extremely sad and do not know how to make things better.  I want to see my kids and i want them to grow up to be respectful adults with goals.  I know my daughter views it as I chose my husband over her when he yelled at her to leave.  It is not the case, he is just sick of them abusing me.  I really do not know what to do.  I am worried that I will never see them again.  I wondered if I should ask my husband to apologize but I have received advise that I should not have him do that.  I am worried the longer that I do not talk to them, the worse things will be.  Looking for any sort of advise.  Please and thank you. ... View more