Hello. My son doesn’t really have set chores. It’s always been a battle to get my children to help around the house. I think I’ve been too soft which has not worked out well at all. If I could turn back time I would do so many things differently but unfortunately I can’t and have to try to deal with the here and now. He doesn’t spend a lot of time at home, occasionally he will have dinner with us but I would like him to spend more time with us. Family has always been so important to me and I’m so upset with the situation I find myself in. My son is currently staying with family as I just couldn’t deal with the stress anymore. I’m hoping the time apart will do us both good however my main concern is the drug taking that seems to go hand in hand with going out on weekends. They know the dangers and risks but do it any way. It’s very difficult to ground an 18 year old. I hope I have some better news soon. ... View more

Thankyou for taking the time to respond. It is truly a blessing to have this forum to connect with other parents who are facing similar challenges. Not much has changed at the moment for me. My focus is to try and reflect on how I can change my behaviours to try and approach this issue and repair our relationship. I won’t however change my stance on drugs and I do believe boundaries are necessary at this young adult stage. I guess it’s about what I can do differently to get my message across. I pray daily and hope things improve soon. I will keep you posted. ... View more

Thank you for the links. I have checked them out but unfortunately at this time I just can’t seem to even start a conversation with him without it turning into an argument. I am currently seeing a counsellor and hope this may be able to help me. Im not going to give up even though I feel so exhausted by it all. I’m wondering if anyone else has had this issue in the past and how they handled it. He thinks I’m trying to control him but I’m not, I’m simply trying to put in some basic rules to keep him safe. Being 18 doesn’t automatically make you a responsible adult. That takes time. He doesn’t see it . Thank you for your support. ... View more

Hello and thank you for your reply. I guess the changes I have noticed is simply that as of turning 18 he thinks he no longer has to abide by the rules. He behaves as though he doesn’t really like spending any time with his family and is always out. He enjoys partying and I do know he has experimented with drugs which I’m so upset about. I do think he has some underlying issues but he refuses to get counselling. I can’t seem to talk to him any more as he always gets angry with whatever I say. Our relationship is quite poor at the moment. I do have 1 person who has been a great support for me but I feel sad every day and find it difficult to focus on anything else. I try to enforce some basic rules- around curfews mainly but he hasn’t really been listening. It’s difficult to discipline an 18 year old. Any advice to try to turn this situation around would be much appreciated. ... View more