Hi, I'm Ross, father of 4 kids aged 14, 12, 10 and 8. 3 boys and a girl (the youngest). As much as I recognise that a close/strong relationship with the technology is the new norm, I find that the less time my kids spend in front of an interactive screen (as opposed to tv or movies), the nicer they are! I was mildly bullied at school. I used to really struggle to talk in a slow, measured manner, i.e. I used to talk very quickly. So my bullying was in the form of some kids teasing me the second I opened my mouth by babbling something back in my face, which was acutely irritating and embarrassing, and which only made it harder to talk more slowly. I got through this period in my life... but carried an acute, panic-attack-inducing phobia of public speaking with me for way too long. Thankfully I addressed this issue, and I'm fine now! In hindsight I wished I'd addressed it earlier.... Anyhow, I digress. The reason I'm here is because my kids are emotionally resilient to varying degrees. #2 has started high school this year, and he's probably the least resilient of the 4. I'm nervous that bullying may occur, and wish to ensure that I'm suitably equipped to support him, and my other kids, especially in high school where I perceive that bullying is likely to be worse (inc. social media). One thing in particular I'd like to discuss is the following. My eldest had a period of bullying in grade 7 (he's now grade 10). It was relatively low-grade, with a kid repeatedly distracting and annoying him in class by throwing things (pencils etc.) at him. He asked the offender to stop repeatedly, but he didn't. We encouged him to speak with his mentor teacher, which he did. As a consequence, both boys were spoken with, both separately and together, as per school anti-bullying policy. But as a consequence of this process, my son was labelled a "snitch" by the bully and his friends.... which actually made the bulling worse, not better. The bullying only fully ended when the offender changed schools at the end of grade 7, much to the relief of my son, and he's been largely untroubled by bullying ever since, as far as I know. My wife and I were discussing bullying with my kids around the dinner table the other day, and the advice/experience from my eldest was "DON'T tell the teachers, it'll only make it worse". I asked him "if you could make a better policy to handle school bullying, what would you do?" and he replied "I honestly have absolutely no idea". So what to be done if telling the teacher only makes matters worse?! How could/should this be done better? Thanks, Ross
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