I'm so sorry your son has been speaking to you this way, it sounds very disrespectful. I think it is completely reasonable that your son contributes to household work, including cooking, and there is nothing wrong with you expecting this. Moreover, it may teach him good skills and values when it comes to co-habiting with housemates or partners in the future. Does he face consequences for not contributing to housework or speaking to you that way? If you want to talk it over on the phone the Parentline for your state might be a good resource (just google the words Parentline with the state you live in).
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