Hey @Sean89 ,
Thank you for your caring and insightful post. You've shown real responsibility and a huge heart to jump in like this without any preparation. On one hand, it will be tough for you to find out which form of discipline or behavioural modification works best for M, especially if she has never had discipline before. This is new territory for both of you. As such, it'll likely be a case of trial and error. On the other hand, she's old enough now for you to have good discussions about situations when they arise (even if that discussion is delayed).
To be honest, it sounds like you've made a wonderful start and your rules/guidelines are reasonable . You've found common ground with the tv shows, which is super important as it breaks the formal boundaries and helps bring you closer. You've also bought books from her favourite writers. This is a lovely gesture and it's likely she notices the effort you've made, even if she doesn't show it yet.
You've mentioned that she's a little shy and guarded around you after the car episode. It's possible that she feels remorseful about what happened. All you can do is be as open as possible with her - that you are there for her unconditionally. She'll come around to having that discussion when she's ready. The best advice I can give is continue to do what you're doing, alter it dependent of what you find works for you and her, and be patient with her and yourself
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