Hello,    My son and daughter have not gotten along for years, and I have to admit when he went to college, it was nice not to have to deal with the tension between the kids.  History of the tension is that both of my kids were abused by a neighbor's son just a few years older than my kids.  I only recently found out about that after both of my kids were treated for depression starting in middle school and high school.   My son found a group of friends in high school and tried to impress them by telling a few tall tales.  A year later when my daughter started high school, she had a few shared friends and called him out on a few of the things he said.  His friends basically dropped him and said they were just taking pity on him because he was a loner.   My son started saying mean things to my daughter and has never let it go.  also, when she was dealing with her depression/am issues, I think she started a few stories about my son's new friend and also took money from my husband's wallet.  My son suspected it was my daughter and was hurt when we asked both kids if it was possible their friends took the money because they had come to our house when we were away for one night.   Things went somewhat well for several months after having a counseling session, however a few arguments occured over my daughter's boyfriend who my son hates.  He wouldn't let him come to the house.  She started posting her feelings on a private instagram account whenever they fought and one of their shared friends showed my son the posts.   Since that time, their relationship has been very strained and it was a relief when they were separated when he went back to school after winter break.  He had to come home early due to the COVID issues and now they are back to the old routine.  She tries to be nice to him and eventually he says mean things, and she walks away or cries depending on the situation.   I know he's having a tough time being back home because we have expectations for him and he feels like we've done nothing but nag since he came home (get a job, clean your room, etc).   My job has been extremely stressful and I'm having a hard time dealing with this situation.     I don't know if I should let them work it out themselves or make them talk to each other.   My son expects me to punish my daughter for her instagram posts.   She feels like he's never supported her and is tired of feeling like its her fault.   So, does anyone have advice on whether I should just be letting this go or try to do something to make them talk to each other?  I love them both and trying not to take sides, but it's so hard to see him hurt and defensive and it's hard to see her cry.   ... View more