I hope the switching off the internet at night has been helpful. Becoming aware of blue light at night can be helpful too, and there are blue light filters for phones, and electronic devices that are pretty convenient and easy to use - https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/block-blue-light-to-sleep-better#bottom-line   Slowly moving electronic devices to outside the room can be helpful as well. I found that moving my desktop computer into the living spaces quite helpful in separating work and sleep spaces - https://www.sleepfoundation.org/articles/screen-time-and-insomnia-what-it-means-teens ... View more

Thanks Sidney and Janine. Transport has been an ongoing stressful issue and this has been apparently regular thing unbeknownst to us.    Just found out last night that he has been blocking smses and calls, so hopefully it will be unblocked now. Formal custody and parental agreement has not been discussed, so it is something I have been trying to investigate without inflaming the situation unfortunately. He is with her full time and apparently he persistently refuses to spend time and be in contact, so it is hard to know how much mediation and parental agreements can achieve as he is over 16.    Hopefully he will attend school more regularly though, it would be easier as there are school counselors and teachers that can support him more there too. ... View more

Strategies to discuss and develop parenting arrangements and arrive at a formal parenting agreement when separating?  ... View more

How to remain positive and parent when teenagers reject, become insulting and there is severe social isolation from them?  ... View more

> I think a lot of the ma15+ shows hay ha v ed influenced her badly!?   Hope the sti and safe sex talk goes well. The relationship between sexting and negative consequences are not clear though.     " Sexting is not related to riskier sexual behaviors like having unprotected sex " - https://edition.cnn.com/2014/05/21/opinion/junco-sexting-teenagers/index.html   Also, teens sext for many reasons, so understanding those reasons can help support happier teenagers rather than children feeling blamed and rebelling as the result.     "To show off, to entice someone, to show interest in someone, or to prove commitment. Or even as a joke. Teens' developing interest in sex, an impulse to experiment" - https://www.commonsensemedia.org/blog/talking-about-sexting   Teenagers are undergoing a tough time in their lives, their brain grow through a growth spurt resulting in impulsive and difficult urges which are very uncomfortable and confusing.    "Adolescents are naturally impulsive because the teenage brain is still developing the ability to self-regulate." ... View more

>I asked her why, she says no boys at school like her! I mean OMFG!   Sounds like you have tackled the sexting seriously and will be discussing the issue further on the 22nd. Have you sat down and slowly understand her reasons, examples of why she feels that way? There is a difference between social isolation and loneliness. Some of the most lonely people are popular and highly sociable.    https://kidshelpline.com.au/teens/issues/coping-with-loneliness   Being really bright and a straight A student may make it harder to connect with others as well maybe? Spending regular time to understand her frustrations, especially with boys may be another way to help tackle her sexting too?    https://www.understood.org/en/friends-feelings/managing-feelings/loneliness-sadness-isolation/how-loneliness-can-impact-kids-who-learn-and-think-differently   Loneliness seems to be slowly recognised as an important issue. In the UK there is a minister for loneliness. Loneliness however can be very private experience, and bears no relationship with how amazing everything else on the outside is going unfortunately.    https://theconversation.com/why-addressing-loneliness-in-children-can-prevent-a-lifetime-of-loneliness-in-adults-76248 ... View more

>  I have explained to him the reasons   Following the possible outcomes of your concerns may be another option as well? Sometimes it may not be obvious to your 14 yo, and they are confident you will sort it all out for them...    You may not be able to prevent them dating, but at least there is an option to problem solve the "bad news" feeling and natural consequences of their dating that worry you? Its nice to not be dumped with all the responsibility when things go pear-shaped, and then have to make tough messy decisions under pressure.    https://www.empoweringparents.com/article/kids-who-ignore-consequences-10-ways-to-make-them-stick/   https://www.parents.com/parenting/better-parenting/positive/disciplining-with-natural-consequences/   ... View more

Thank you so much coach90. It is a very timely post.  I am struggling to learn how to let go and to respect boundaries. It is so hard to work on a new relationship who has minimal contact, and to earn trust and validation when there are academic pressures on the child.  ... View more

> He talks with them every fortnight but has refused family therapy.    It is great that he is speaking to his Headspace counsellor every fortnight.   Does he have a GP that he trusts as well? A Cantonese speaking psychologist may be useful for the whole family, but a long term GP that he likes may provide a useful perspective. Regular appointments until he engages with online learning and socialise more may help reassure you that all that can be done has been done until things improve...  ... View more