Hey @Theformermissm , So sorry to hear about what happened to your daughter and the aftermath. While we don't live in a rural town, we're outside Sydney and live in a fishbowl where there are no secrets and people remember what happened when you were three and could still hold it against you at 20. I agree that talking to the school would be a good idea. In my experience, the teachers are very compassionate and they work hard to sort out complex situations like this everyday and in my experience do a great job. You get this pack mentality at school and kids can turn on someone very quickly and do a lot of damage. A girl "cheated" on one of my son's friends and that group of boys shunned the girl. I didn't know exactly what happened but I let a teacher know when we were talking about something else because I was concerned about her wellbeing. Who knows what the boy has been saying to people and I know from what I hear from my kids no one likes a "snitch". The response your daughter has had naturally concerns me as a woman because we want women to come forward and if they get ostracized and treated in this way by their peers, they're going to keep quiet. As an aside and as a mother of a 16 year old son and 14 year old daughter, I wonder if enough is being done to educate our young people about initiating and restraining physical contact and making sure signals are clear and either the guy or girl can put on the brakes and stop physical contact and get away. I haven't discussed this in much detail to my son, although I have talked about it with our daughter mainly because she's going to parties and has been undertaking risky behaviours. It's not a gender based decision as our son is mostly on his computer. I spoke to my Great Aunt who is in her 80s and she told me how she and her friends used to manage guys with "wandering hands" back in her day. They were pretty cluey. I was out of my depth as a young person and we didn't have the Internet back then for better or worse. There was just Dolly Doctor. In the meantime, it sounds like you're doing a great job encouraging your daughter and being there 200% for her. Have people in town reacted to you at all or said anything to you directly? Lastly, perhaps encouraging your daughter to find a new group of friends. I don't know how isolated you are where you live, but perhaps she could venture further afield at least for awhile to get a breather. It sounds pretty intense where she is at the moment and building up her confidence away from all these people with a fresh start might be a good thing. I hope this helps and I hope you don't mind me extending this topic, but I thought it might help other people out there to address some of the broader issues. Best wishes, Birdwings
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