Thanks for inviting me in for such a lively and interesting discussion! @Ngaio-RO summed it up really well. Have a great night everyone :-) ... View more

Thanks everyone! It is so great to see people getting involved and asking questions.  ... View more

Dan siegal is a great thought leader around mindfulness and young people and his book 'brainstorm' is a great resource.  ... View more

@taziness - the Smiling Mind and Headspace apps are a great starting point. other apps include 'relax and rest' and 'simply being' which help provide guided mediation and mindfulness exercises.  ... View more

@Ngaio-RO - Yes, staying in the present moment with a young person in serious distress is so important. this sends the message that no matter how big and scary the situation, that you can be there for them in it. Once the distress has settled, the emotions have calmed down and the young person can better access the 'CEO' part of their brain, then something like safety planning can come in handy. But the best safety planning of all is helping young people 'ride out' difficult emotions, reach out for help and stay connected to what matters to them ... View more

Thanks @taziness - we sometimes need to be reminded by mantras that quickly re-orientate ourselves. I like the image of dropping down to the still place at the bottom of the ocean, watching the stormy waves crash above without being tossed around by them.  ... View more

This is an important question @Ngaio-RO    When it comes to scary and, at times, life threatening things mindfulness is incredibly important. Being aware, present and calm allows an approach that is responsive and considered. Being mindful allows us to tune into the severity of the situation and act accordingly. Young people in such situations can feel isolated and distressed and need adults as a safe harbour and reassuring voice to help them navigate the turmoil. ... View more

Yes @taokat - modelling is so important. But I guess it's really about the kind of person we are when we engage with young people. Being reactive, distant or self occupied creates disconnection. Being present, responsive and attuned creates connection - and connection builds meaningful and trusting relationships, which are what really matters to young people ... View more

A question I get asked a lot is "how can I cultivate mindfulness in my life?'    There are many ways of doing this.    When people are new to the idea and want to introduce it into their lives, then small periods of mindfulness meditation can be a great starting point. There are lots of great apps, like Smiling Mind and Headspace that can guide you through a 10 or 30 daysmindfulness meditation challenge, which can help you become acquainted with the process. The advantage of beginning with a more formal practice, such as meditation, is that it offers you a structured opportunity to practice what can be a tricky and unfamiliar process.   Maintaining present moment awareness without judgment is an unfamiliar process that often brings up a degree of discomfort, especially initially. Taking time out from your day, free from other demands or commitments, can offer you the space to get acquainted with the process.   Meditation is not the only way practice mindfulness or to weave it into your life. Any activity can be used as an opportunity to stay connected and engaged with the present moment. Some popular activities where people practice mindfulness include eating, walking and cleaning. These fairly simple day to day tasks are often times when our attention drifts, and therefore can be a great opportunity to practice mindful presence. These activities are also very sensory – so you can use taste, touch, smell, sight and sound as anchor points to focus your attention back to when your mind wanders. ... View more

@taokat - being with the present moment within us (thoughts, emotions, sensations) and around us (sounds, sight, textures, taste, smells) is all part of mindfulness.   Both what is happening within us and what is happening around us can grab our attention and take us away from what is. The process of returning to the present moment is what mindfulness is all about. It can often help to name or label our experiences as a way of noticing them, and then letting them go ... View more

Absolutely @Ngaio-RO!   Any interaction with a teenager is about fostering connection and building a relationship. Mindfulness allows us to do that because we are present and available to them. We all want to be heard and valued, and when that happens we are open and receptive to what that person has to say. ... View more

Absolutely @taokat - it's useful to use words and metaphors that resonate with them. For the teenagers who come to see me who are into music or sports, we often use talk about the experience of them being on the soccer field or listening to their favourite band ... View more

Mindfulness is difficult to translate into a written definition because it is much more a practice and experience, than an abstract concept. It is a way of being – i.e. mindfulness is about being engaged in the present moment, rather than fixating attention on the past or the future. For example, if you are having a difficult conversation with a teenager and you notice yourself becoming caught up on issues that happened in the past or worried about possible future consequences, remaining mindful would mean staying focused and committed to the present moment experience – even if it’s uncomfortable – without slipping into judgement.   Mindfulness is a continuous process of engaging in the present moment – the sights, sounds, tastes, textures and smells happening around you, and the thoughts, emotions and sensations happening within you.   I like to think of mindfulness as being the observer - the position of witnessing and engaging with what's happening without getting swept away by distractions.  ... View more

I find that teaching a teenager mindfulness is less about walking them through the steps or giving them a definition, but more about modeling mindfulness yourself as a parent - i.e. being open and present in your interactions with your teenager, in a way where you are engaged in the moment with them, without judgment.   One of the most crucial ways adolescents learn how to relate to themselves and others is through the relationships they have with key people in their life. When a parent remains ‘in the moment’ with their teenager, they offer them a safe, secure and stable base that allows their teen to calm down, think clearly and act according to how they want to act rather than how their ‘in the moment’ emotions are compelling to act. ... View more

@taokat - this is a tricky one.   Introducing any idea to a young person is about finding ways that it is relevant and meaningful for them, and engaging with them around the topic in a way that feels intuitive and natural for them. Lectures and theoretical explanations rarely work well, but when we a) model mindful awareness ourselves and b) use in the moment opportunities to discuss and encourage mindfulness then we have a much better chance of sharing the message with them.    ... View more

Exactly @taokat!   Unless we have achieved a sense of calm and safety through open non-judgmental awareness, then it is very difficult to be present and model mindfulness to the teenagers we are engaging with.   We often jump quickly into trying to teach teenagers mindfulness as a skill, rather than as adults practicing to be mindful (present and non judgmental) ... View more

So true @taokat!   I think the missing link in mindfulness is often the part about the spirit of non-judgment. It is not only about being engaged in the present moment, but wiholding judgment, which is can be so hard to do! ... View more

Absolutely @taokat! it's about taking a different view of the situataion. Rather than being saturated in it, you learn how to observe it ... View more

Thanks @taziness for bringing that up.   Some experiences and moments can be incredibly difficult and painful. Mindfulness helps us create a bigger container to hold our emotions in, so we become more able to 'sit with' very difficult moments.   Having said that, there are moments where we feel compelled to escape the here and now because it feels too much. This is a great opportunity to use other techniques, like deep breathing and grounding exercises to create a sense of calm and safety ... View more

I know how hard it can be to remain mindful and aware in times of heightened emotion @taokat   It is useful to consider mindfulness is a skill that takes time and practice to cultivate. The more time you dedicate to building the skill outside the moment, the quicker you become in engaging mindfully even in moments of frustration or overwhelm.    I think it's also important to practice non-judgment and self compassion when you only remember in hindsight ... View more

Hi @taokat   Great question.    A great place to get starting with mindfulness is building up your skill of self awareness. Unless you become aware of your thoughts, feelings and sensations than you can’t re-orientate yourself to the present moment. Once you notice that your attention and focused has drifted away, you give yourself the opportunity to bring your attention back.   Learning to be the observer of your experience – rather than the passenger of your experience - is a great place to start building a practice of mindfulness in your life. When you are the observer of your experience, you take the position of noticing that you are experiencing an emotion or a thought or a sensation.   For example, instead of getting frustrated and acting from a place of frustration, you practice observing that you are frustrated (e.g. you might notice your shoulders tense up, your breathing becomes shallow or your mind starts racing). Once your become aware of your frustration you give yourself a choice to reconnect with the present moment, rather than your attention getting swept away by the emotion.   It can help to use indicators of disconnection and emotional distress (e.g. a wandering mind, tense shoulders, going over the same the thought, ‘what if’ questions about the future) as signals to return to the present moment. The more you become aware of your sensations, thoughts and emotions, then more equipped you become to re-connect with the present moment. This is definitely a matter of practicing and repeating. ... View more

Mindfulness is such an incredible way of connecting more to what matters, rather than being swept away by thoughts and emotions and applies so well to building relationships with teenagers. I'm looking forward to sharing some insights with you. ... View more

Hi Ngaio, thank you so much for inviting me here to talk about this topic! ... View more