Hello @siennaV11 , sorry to hear that you feel frustrated at times when your daughter does not pick up after herself or keep areas tidy. I can understand the irritation that comes with needing to clean up after others and their mess. It is quite reasonable for you to want her to also do her part and help with keeping areas around the house clean and tidy. It’s great that you will be having a discussion with your daughter so that you can raise your concerns and discuss these with your daughter and hopefully see some changes.
When it comes to modifying behaviours, it is really important that we are consistent with the reinforcements that are provided. This means that the same reinforcement should be provided when faced with a certain behaviour. For example, when your daughter does clean up after herself, it is important that a positive reinforcement is provided such as recognition of her behaviour by saying “good job” to her. Positive reinforcements are much more effective than punishment as they reinforce desired behaviours and can lead to consistent changes in behaviour. Also, your reaction should be consistent with her behaviour, so if she decides to not clean up after herself, it is best that you try not to clean up after her but instead give her a gentle reminder and provide positive reinforcement when she does clean it up. If you do clean up after her, she may then not be motivated to continue to clean up after herself as she may think that it will be cleaned up whether she leaves it or not.
You might also find talking with your daughter openly about the reasons why you would like her to clean up and pitch in to be helpful as having an open and honest conversation might encourage your daughter to be open with you about why she has found changing her habits to be difficult so far. Changing behaviours can be quite challenging, but it can be done. Hope this helps!
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Hi @JooJoo3-2_1 and thank you for making this post- managing internet use is a huge issue for so many families!
It sounds like you have thought through some strategies you are using at the moment:
Having your teen charge her devices in different parts of the house
Making sure Ipads and phone plans don't include data
Limiting some access to the full unlimited wifi
Do you know if she had access to wifi at school? We have seen a few parents talk about the difficulties of limiting internet use at home when it is prevalent at schools.
You have also mentioned apps, have you had a look into what could work for your family?
I thought I might link you some resources that might be helpful too. ReachOut have this article here about managing screen time and a video discussion here about internet use. We also have had parents talking on the forums about internet including @Hootbayne spoke about screen time here earlier this year, as did @Cadbury here. Hope these resources can also offer some new ideas!
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