Thank you so much everyone for your responses. I think the peer pressure thing could certainly be the case. His friends are good at sport but not to the same level as my son. One of the training sessions is a 3hour slot on a Saturday right in the middle of the day. I think FOMO (fear of missing out) would be the case here. We tried really hard to persuade him as did his coach who is also very disappointed. He would not budge but I am hoping he has some regrets. He does play with the boys who would be in the rep team every Monday so we will make sure he still does this. We made some more progress with honest conversations as he has now admitted to me that he has tried dope with his friends. I stayed calm and listened as you said asked a few questions like did he like it, how often, does he want to do it again. I was surprised that even though I was devastated that he has tried it I actually felt better that he has admitted it. Now I feel we can have conversations around the issues with this and maybe some strategies to help him make better choices. He is more open to discussing things too as he can see how worried we are but that we didn't go mad. Of course now when he goes out I will worry more. He did tell me he gets bored and that it was something to do. Any ideas of what to say to this>?? Thanks :)
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I have a 14 year old son who has changed a lot this year and we are worried about him......
He changed from a co-ed school to an all boys school this year and the change does not seem to have been a good one. The environment at school is quite negative and I think this has impacted on my son. He was an elite athlete and has played at a rep level since year 3 for both school and outside of school. While he still loves sport he has lost interest in competing at a high level. We are not sure if this is because he wants a break or the influence of friends. He is very popular and so we have no issues with friends, but the friendship group (which is quite large) seem to be trying things that I would prefer my son not to be doing. Mainly alcohol and dope :( He admitted that he has tried alcohol but denies having tried dope although he has told me some of his friends have but not all the time. My biggest concern is that he doesn't seem to think it's such a big deal. I have had many terrible parenting moments and to be honest wonder if I create more issues than there really are. I know he has lied where he is sometimes so he can stay out later... the main one being at the movies when in fact he's not. I am finding the different rules are difficult amongst the kids, I don't want my son out late at night in places where I really don't think they need to be. He is quite defiant and I feel a bit like we are losing control of him so early. I wasn't expecting to be dealing with this type of thing until he was 16.
Would love to know if other parents experiencing the same types of issues. It affects my daily life as it's always in the back of my mind and I am now paranoid all the time about where he is and what he is doing.
Positives are that he does come home, although he pushes the time limit, gives me parents numbers if he is sleeping over, always goes to school.
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Hi Tracy here... I have 2 boys one 17 and one 14. I do yoga, meditation or go for a walk when things get really stressful I decided to contact reach out as I am finding things difficult with my 14 year old at the moment On the weekends it's time to catch up on a few things around the house and go for walks with my husband. My older son is currently studying for HSC and the younger one is always out!
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