16 yr old spoilt teenage boy

[Seraphim]

Hello. We have a 16 yr old boy who has been given everything he ever wanted. He smokes both cigarettes and marijuana. He has friends inc girls over at all times. He goes out,gets money whenever he wants. Has take out most nights. He does do what little chores like putting rubbish out etc. You get the picture. He grew up raised predominantly nu his grandmother who overcompensated because he didn't have a father. His mother stays with us but hasn't been for the last 3 months. Grandma is now in her mid 70s finding it very stressful because he is not listening at all. My question is,is it too late to set rules we can all agree on? Grandma doesn't want him to runaway and boy does not want to move with his mum when she finds her own place. Please anyone with any advice? Thank you for your time.

[Andrea-RO]

Hi @Seraphim,

Thank you for sharing your story. It sounds like you and your family are in a bit of a difficult situation, and you are feeling stuck on what to do next. I think that it's always important to set out boundaries in any relationship, regardless of the age, so I definitely believe that it's possible to set, adjust, or add rules 

with your son. 

In terms of how to navigate setting rules for your son, there are a bunch of really wonderful resources you can check out that go into a fair amount of detail about how to negotiate this tricky situation. Te Australian government supports the website raisingchildren.net.au which has huge variety of resources for parents of children of any age. They have a couple of info pages on discipline strategies and behavioural management for teens. This is a great page to start on, as it outlines some of the basics, and working from there. If you wanted more information or support, then you can also have a look at a bunch of their other articles and info pages here

[Janine-RO]

Hi there @Seraphim  - I noticed that you posted this in the Ask A Family Professional part of the forum, so I've also copied your question into the google form above so that it will go to our amazing partners at the Benevolent Society, who post our Family Pro posts. I hope that's okay - keep an eye out  in coming weeks for a response