A Rollercoaster

[htw70]

Hi,  it's been a rough week...everything was headed in a positive direction as we had engaged my son with one day a week at TAFE while having the other four days at school (he is in year 10) and that looked like a win win.  I found out on Tuesday that although he had set off for TAFE happily he never got there but instead turned around and spent the day at home (but didn't let me know) and couldn't explain why just said he "felt like **bleep**"and when I told him he couldn't go to soccer training (which he loves but I thought was a reasonable consequence of not telling me where he was etc.) he punched a hole in the wall (the second time he's done this now).  He hasn't spoken to me since which I can live with and I know in retrospect it probably would have been better for me to have let him go to training and have a run to get whatever it was out of his system but I was trying to teach him consequences i.e. sometimes you have to do the stuff you don't like eg school/TAFE before you do the things you don't like.  Wrong decision I think.  Anyway, I told him this morning that I love him and we need to have a chat about the hole in the wall and why that happened, and I would like an apology for the way he spoke to me etc.  We will see how it goes.

[Taylor-RO]

Hi @htw70, that does sound like a rough week! Thanks for sharing that all with us. Do you have any idea as to why he might not want to attend TAFE beyond the reason he has given? It sounds like a very difficult situation to manage. Is this usually how he usually reacts if the outcome is unfavourable for him? It is a great idea to talk this out with him though - let us know how you go

[htw70]

He's not much of a talker, usually I have to give him options e.g. does it feel like anger or sadness?  He said that he felt like a combination of anxiety/overwhelmed/not in a good headspace.  We had a good weekend; he saw friends on Saturday which he said he enjoyed.  He went to school today; seemed happy, TAFE tomorrow so will keep you posted.

[Jess1-RO]

Hi @htw70- checking in to see how you are going this week

It sounds like you have found some good strategies to get your son to talk about how he is feeling, without him having to find all the words himself. Giving options can be a really helpful tool for young people- particularly when they are still exploring their range of emotions and how to articulate their experiences.

How did he go with school and TAFE throughout the last week?