04-10-2023 05:16 PM
DD17 is turning 18 in May and wants to have a party of around 10 girls, her friend group. They are trustworthy girls and get along well with DD, however DD wants alcohol at her party which I am completely against. Myself and DD's dad are quite conservative, we are not drinkers. Only 1 friend out of the 10 will be the legal age, the other 9 will still be 17, hence why I am against this. She doesn't want there to be much alcohol, just 1/2 drinks per person and a couple of the girls don't drink at all and yet I am still against this. The party will be in our backyard and I believe supplying alcohol to 9 minors is wrong, and I am worried about being charged.
DD claims I am a hypocrite for allowing her to go to other friends houses and drink while she is a minor (only one time) and she is pulling out all the cards claiming she's a good kid and should be allowed to have a couple drinks on her 18th birthday with her friends. While she is a good kid and doesn't cause trouble, I am still against alcohol.
What should I do.
04-11-2023 04:46 PM
Hi there @horsesrule
Thank you for opening up about your daughter's upcoming birthday party with us. I can understand how this situation could be challenging to navigate as you want your daughter to have the best possible experience for her 18th.
It sounds like you have strong ethics surrounding supplying alcohol to minors, and I commend you for holding your boundaries. I can imagine this is a common debacle for many parents. As you’ve said, while your daughters' friends are in your home, you are responsible for them, and looking out for their safety (despite their reaction) is a good approach.
In saying this, explaining this to your daughter is much easier said than done. So, I thought some of these articles might give you tips on approaching conversations about this.
We have a great article called “Set realistic boundaries with your teenager”. I hope some of the tips will help you. I also found this article on Hosting a teenage party written by the Alcohol and Drug Foundation, which could also be super helpful. Another great article called Hosting teen parties: parent guide has lots of information.
Let us know what you think, and if you have any other questions or concerns, we’re more than happy to continue this conversation with you.
04-13-2023 11:42 PM
Dear Horses Rule,
I found your predicament rather interesting as my kids have both been close to the youngest in their year at school and so we haven't been put in this position. We have a son who is 19 and a 17 year old daughter. My husband and I barely drink and like yourselves would take the issue of supplying alcohol to a minor seriously. Yet, at the same time, I also know how young people really look forward to having that first drink with their friends. It's a bit of a tradition for a parent to take their 18 year old to the pub for their first beer. We didn't do that ourselves but our son's friend took him out for his first drink. I think his party was alcohol free but they went out afterwards. Maybe your daughter could have a drink with her friend who is over 18 with just the two of them.
I thought I'd also mention that the range of fancy non-alcoholic drinks has expanded greatly these days and a bit of creative flair could create a fun but alcohol-free alternative.
I hope that helps.