02-09-2017 08:47 PM
Yet again I don't have answers, but send sympathy re the self harming. It makes me feel almost ill when I see the evidence of my own teen's self harming. Even when things seem to be looking up a bit, it seems that self harming is a hard habit to break, and hard for us to fully understand too. Our beautiful teens whom we remember as gorgeous babies with perfect skin.....it is hard for parents to see such harm. But yes, we do have to look at the good stuff that is happening in their lives, maybe, just maybe, the self harming habit takes a while to disappear after many of their other issues are resolved. Anyway, just know that you aren't alone, I'll be thinking of you and your child/teen, there are many parents just like us all around the world, dealing with the same issues.
02-09-2017 09:00 PM
@Elena thank you so much. The feeling that you are not alone in this is like gold. Please share with me any time because those kinds of stories make me feel like I'm not totally losing is and making all the wrong decisions. It helps so much to know that other people are going through these things too.
And throwing adolescence into the mix plays with my mind even more. Sometimes I don't know where adolescence stops and depression starts (and vice versa). Do you know what I mean?
03-28-2017 10:49 AM - edited 03-28-2017 10:51 AM
Hey @LovingThruBlue - we actually hear that so much from parents, that idea of what's "normal" adolescent development and what's more of a mental health issue. You are not alone in wondering "where adolescence stops and depression starts (and vice versa)."
How have things been?
and how about you @Elena?
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04-07-2017 01:08 AM
Sending e hugs via Reach Out ... we are just entering into enrolling for home schooling Connect Ed as due to sever depression going to school is no longer an option ... watch this space x
04-07-2017 03:20 AM
I relate to your situation so well @LovingThruBlue and brings back memories and that rock that lives in the pit of your stomach. I empathise with you and hope have some positive results.
My daughter is schooled via distance education now, after issues in year 8, then refusal to attend school last year. The one thing I learned was to remain proactive. I had to keep on top of her old schools to make sure they had done the things they said they would, such as inform teachers of my daughter's 'safety plan' for the classroom, check up she was getting the supports they said she would etc. If I was told I would be called back on a certain day about something, and hadn't heard, I'd call first thing the next morning.
She's been doing really well all year, but has given up on her plans at the moment and hasn't finished her last week of work. I'm devastated. I keep trying to remind myself that her mental health is priority. It's such a hard one though because as a parent I worry about her education and her future prospects to be honest.
My daughter self harmed for a couple of years too. A couple of alternatives that were suggested to us were a rubber band on the wrist that she can flick and cause a flash of sensation, or ice cubes on the skin. As a distraction and a calmant my daughter also had those squishy balls as well as 'fidget' putty she could squish through her fingers. We also did a lot of work on learning about emotions and their names so she could communicate more effectively. I did a lot of work around listening and how to communicate more effectively with her as well. It's a huge thing to remember that negative feelings pass. Having depression myself I understand that it can take longer, but stilll, it will always pass. Love, compassion and more love helps in the meantime
I'll be watching out for any updates. Wishing you all the best for now.
04-08-2017 11:28 AM
04-08-2017 11:35 AM
Thank you for lovely replies.
Things are very up & down. A a step forward & a step back you know what I mean?
We're still struggling along but there are good moments.
Hopefully next term my daughter will successfully move from 3 periods a day at school to 4.
@taokat, I too have had to remind myself often that her mental health is priority and after 7.5 months I have now found a place within myself where I'm ok with that. Not happy - but ok.
She is smart and can still be successful in life. We just need to get her to a place where she can find some joy in life again.
@Sophi-RO, Thank you for staying in touch. I have spoken to someone (I can't remember who) but at the moment with weekly appointments and my daughter being as unwell as she is we agreed it was not the thing for us at this point.
We're on the edge of our seats at the moment because 2 days ago a girl in my daughters year at school committed suicide. I am on edge watching for a trigger reaction, she said that considering she was so close to doing it anyway, it should have been her Scary and very sad times here. Getting through the funeral will be particularly scary. Any advice?
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