I'm like you @Erin-RO, I can find as much peace just having an understanding as to the hows and whys - of nearly any situation really! I really look forward to reading Jon Kabat-Zinn's work as I'm interested to learn anything new, but also interested to see how western and Buddhist philosophies compare. There's a great self-care project right there!
'I' statements are so powerful as they don't place blame and I'm so glad that's something you've found to be helping @Faob_1. I so related to you saying that you can't parent a child who doesn't want to be parented! I've said this myself many times over the years, but I'm grateful for the help we've had that has helped me to see that my daughter does want and need me to parent her deep down. Even with this last trouble spot where I've been annoyed at her attitude, lack of respect etc, she said in one of our counselling sessions "I'm only 15". It actually made me frustrated in the session because I feel she never listens to me and thinks she's an adult - but the counsellor said it was my daughter saying "I'm 15. This is all out of control for me and I need you mum." So, it's about finding a different way to communicate or needing to renegotiate certain things as she gets older. The bloody goal posts keep moving and I'm not sure when that stops!
I haven't heard about home drug tests, but something your GP or a counsellor could advise you on.
