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Managing toxic friends

Discussion forum for parents in Australia

Frequent scribe

Re: Managing toxic friends

Yes. I do seem to worry a lot.
The stress of the past year has manifested in my lower back. Today I had a myotherapy/massage session to help to relieve some of the discomfort.
I have been trying to work on breathing through my angst.
I have also been lucky to be able to hug my daughter a few times today and have a little cry.

I still don’t know how to manage her anger or rude outbursts that happen at times. These are usually directed at others including my partner. Sometimes I can talk to her about it after the event. Other times I don’t feel that talking will change anything.

I have signed up for an online intuitive painting workshop one day this weekend. I am looking forward to pushing myself to participate. It would be easier to hide in chores or work commitments but I am trying to give myself space too.
Prolific scribe

Re: Managing toxic friends

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Hey @Worriedmun 

How are you feeling today?

It is understandable how stressful the past year has been for you and I hope that the massage session was able to relieve some of the tension and discomfort for you. I saw that your daughter brought you flowers yesterday which is very special and a real testament to all the incredible support you have been providing her – she is very lucky to have you.

I know that you mentioned that you were unsure about how to manage her anger or rude outbursts and that sometimes you talk to her after, and was wondering if these talks have been helpful? I know that @Hannah_RO shared some links to communication articles and wanted to ask if you’ve found these helpful or have been able to try any of the suggestions provided?

I also wanted to share the one-on-one coaching service with you again as I thought that they may be able to provide you with some support around managing this if you’re interested.

It is also really great to hear that you are taking some time for yourself this weekend and will being an online intuitive painting workshop! Whilst you have been doing such an amazing job at supporting your daughter and helping her, it’s just as important that you are also focusing on your own wellbeing and prioritising some time for yourself.

Thank you for keeping us updated, I hope you have a lovely weekend and enjoy your session!

Frequent scribe

Re: Managing toxic friends

Thank you so much for listening and taking time to reply. It really helps me to feel less alone.

Today is the first day all week that I haven’t spontaneously cried. I may tonight when I give my daughter a hug as she has been out all day - work and then fishing (one of her self care strategies).
Not having her right by my side is tough but I’m trying to balance things and keep communication open between us. So far, she has been really understanding and has been checking in pretty regularly. This helps.

I found it really difficult to relax into the painting workshop but may revisit the techniques another time.

I feel really flat and empty today. It’s a strange calmness at times. I had a little nap at midday which helped my back a little too.

I haven’t had a chance to visit the links yet but will try to tomorrow. I seem to have lots of people and things making demands on me and it’s so hard to focus my mind.
Prolific scribe

Re: Managing toxic friends

Please know you are not alone @Worriedmun . You are doing what you can that that's what's most important. We hear that it is tough right now and at times you feel flat and empty.

It sounds like your daughter is aware of your struggles and is therefore able to check-in with you regularly. If it's a few tears when you give her a hug, please know that's okay.

As for your painting workshop, would focusing on the techniques be some sort of a mindfulness activity for you? Otherwise, would allowing yourself to be free with any stroke be of any help? Sorry, you can probably tell I'm not a painter whatsoever!

Please take care. And yes, when you have a chance, you can have a peep at some of the resources that have been posted.