My 17 year old doesn’t speak to me anymore.

[Baileydog2020]

Hi all
Just needing some advice and wondering how to handle this. I’m a single mum and live with my 17 year old son. We’ve always been really close, l’ve always given him what he wanted and done everything for him and the last few months it’s like living with a stranger. He was always a funny, kind, loving son but now he’s the total opposite. He has a job now that pays really really well he has great friends and probably the last 6 months he’s become very close to his dad, we are divorced and he is not the best role model. I suppose it just really hurts, gets me so upset that we used to be so close and now l feel l don’t know him. He comes home doesn’t say hi, he leaves to go out, l get nothing, he shares nothing with me at all. I’ve just got him to start doing his own laundry as he does nothing around the house, he’s not happy with that and keeps saying he wants me to do it but lm not touching it. I have him pay $50 a week board and he never wants to pay it even though he makes a fantastic wage. I have to keep on him about paying it, sometimes he pays, sometimes he doesn’t. Hes been given me the silent treatment for so long and l’ve done nothing to deserve this, it’s so disrespectful and hurts so much. When we have an argument over usually what lm speaking about he starts with the put downs, language and yet again it hurts. I’ve cried and cried so much over how life is with him right now and how much its changed. Anyone who is going through the same l’d love to hear from and any advice would be greatly appreciated thanks.

[Jennifer-RO]

Hi @Baileydog2020 

Thank you so much for posting.

I hear how difficult it is for you as your relationship with your son is not as warm and loving as it once was. I wanted to ask, are you receiving enough emotional support for what you are going through?

Changes in teenagers can be tough, and it’s a difficult relationship to manage when there are also other responsibilities. Are there any conversations around co-parenting between you and your son’s father?

What might be useful is having a talk with someone at a Parent Helpline, a list of lines for every State or Territory is available here

Thank you for reaching out to others for support – we hope others in the community pop in to share their experiences and advice.

[Baileydog2020]

Thank you for the reply. I feel l definitely need emotional support.

[Portia_RO]

Hi @Baileydog2020 , I'm so sorry to hear about what you're going through with your son, it sounds like it's causing you a lot of pain. How do you think he would react if he knew just how much his actions were hurting you? 

In terms of finding some emotional support, is there anyone in your life that you trust and feel like you could talk to about what's been going on? It may also be worthwhile seeking out some help from a counsellor or psychologist, so feel free to check out the Australian Psychological Society's database for finding psychologists if you think that some extra support would be helpful for you. 

With everything that's been going on at home, I hope that you're being kind to yourself. It sounds truly heartbreaking to feel this sense of distance between you and your son, but please know that it is not your fault as it sounds like you are a loving and caring parent who only wants to love and support their teen.