My legal obligations towards my 15 year old daughter

[Bre-RO]

Hi @Bolesygirl 

Thank you for sharing your experience with the forum. It can be so challenging navigating what sounds like a huge change for your family. While it's been hard I'm glad to hear that your son's medication is starting to help - hopefully it continues to improve the situation. It's good to see that you are seeking out support here and also offering it other people. I think it's really powerful what you've said about not becoming a victim, setting boundaries and protecting yourself. 

I just wanted to let you know that we edited your post as there was some content that was inappropriate in line with our community guidelines which can be found here.

[Moneyman]

I live with a very similar situation just make it a boy with an older sister who is bad but not as bad. The boy just started special school, 2 days in he's coming up with excuses not to go. Making him go so far. As a result, I fully expect him to act out violently very soon. Mom moved out a month ago, fed up with the 2 of them. I'm just trying to figure out how to get him to 18.

[Jess1-RO]

Hi @Moneyman and welcome to the ReachOut Parents Forum.

It sounds like a really tough situation for your family Would you be interested in sharing a little bit more about what is happening with your family? You've mentioned your son has been struggling, and you are feeling concerned about getting him through the next few years, can you tell us a bit more about your son and what he is going through at the moment?

[Moneyman]

Basically we are dealing with someone with conduct disorder. Rules do not apply to him. He sees something he wants, he takes it. If you have it then it will be your loss. Every door in the house has a keyed lock. He might sit through therapy but doesn't really participate and most recently started refusing to go. Refuses medication and has started self medicating with marijuana. He has a fascination with fire. Burns paper. Fire is said to be about control and he definitely tries to control people within his sphere of influence. Lies as easily as speaks to you. I could say more but I think you are starting to get the picture.

[Taylor-RO]

Hi @Moneyman, thanks for sharing that with us all here. The behaviour you have described sounds like it is quite the challenge to manage. I am just wondering how old your son is at the moment? Is there anything that has been helpful about the therapy he has been receiving? Do you attend this therapy with him or does he attend alone? It sounds like you are doing all you can to handle the situation. If it helps, you are not alone and if you search through our forums, there are users with similar experiences. Sometimes it is beneficial to connect with those who have walked the same path as us.

[sylvia]

Update  on my  son      ,  we  switched the  internet off  67  days ago after years of gaming problem.still home    up all night   watching TV.  Very   nasty.   Refusing to see  anyone.hopefully he will go out when the weather is nicer.hasnot been to school nor 18 months.hasnot  improved  much.saying awful  things to us.no real friends.it is an addiction  takes a long time to fix.iam    hoping for   an improvement or a miracle..

[Jess1-RO]

Hi @sylvia I am so sorry to hear that things have gone downhill since we last spoke I can't begin to imagine how heartbreaking this point in time is for you. Can you tell us a bit more about what is happening? 

Is your family seeking any support at this moment? A few months ago you were trying home schooling, is this something that has ceased?

With such a tough time at home, how are you looking after yourself through this?

We are here for you when you need to chat or an outlet I know from our conversations before that you have been doing everything you can to support your son- I want to acknowledge everything you are doing for him. You are such a strong person

[Deemf5]

I would like to know what I can do to help my son but protect the rest of my kids. My oldest son 15 years old is buying and doing pills smokes pot everyday and won’t go to school I don’t want him around my other sons because he is influencing them in a negative way. Is there such thing as adopting your kid out?

[Walter2-RO]

Hey Deemf5

Sounds like youre really concerned about all your kids and just wanting the best for them. It must be very stressful trying to protect your younger kids and not let your eldest set bad examples. I can only imagine you must feel like your at whits end to start wondering whether there is such a thing as adopting a child out. How serious do you think you are about this?

Its great you’ve reached out here. Im wondering if you’ve been able to bring it up with him and if so, how he has responded? Whilst it can be really difficult, having a frank and open conversation about drug use is really important. There are some great tips about having conversations with teenagers about drug use (https://forums.parents.au.reachout.com/t5/Ask-a-Child-and-Family/Drugs-How-to-have-the-conversation-...). Maybe it would be worth checking them out.


Sounds like perhaps the drugs are getting in the way of school attendance also. Have we been able to get any involvement or support from the school around this? It may be helpful to speak with someone at the school such as school counsellor or wellbeing coordinator about whats happening if possible.

There is also some support available for you if you would like some additional support. Parentline.com.au provide free counselling for parents in Australia as well as have some great resources on their website.


Hope some of this is helpful for you, let us know how you're going.