Nearly 18 year old son out of control

[Katubb]

So I guess this is crazy I have resorted to talking to strangers but I'm so lost and hurt and don't know what to do
My son is is almost 18 He has been a huge hand full basically all his life as he got older things just got worse
We have seeked help from so many different places with never any sucess
He threw away his school life all the jobs he has had he has stolen from us damaged our property lies and lies
And now he has run away for the 4 time with a new girl and has started threating me and calling me derogatory names it just makes me ill to think what he calls me
He also threatens his dad he has just turned into a horrible person and I thought over the years he would or might change from what he was doing but he has gotten so much worse and I feel that I will never have him.as a normal person my son in my life again
What do I do

[PapaBill]

hi @Katubb 

Wow sounds like you are living a nightmare!

I know talking to strangers for advice is crazy but at least you will be in good company with the rest of us crazies!

I does sound like your son needs help and support and you have tired to get it for him.

You don't mention details of the previous help you have sort.

I presume these covered the issues that might be driving your son ... physiological, physiological etc ? 

What ever the causes, the thing that leaps out to me is it sounds like you are potentially at risk of physical attack.  That can not be ignored or trivialised. 

If your son has damaged property and is now threatening to stomp your head then you MUST take steps to make sure you are safe.    I presume for the post your son is still living with you but is not there currently? 

If he remains in your home there is a real issue of your safety with his behaviour deteriorating.

We all should love our children unconditionally but that doesn't mean we have to love or accept their behaviour unconditionally.  You have a right to safety in your home and taking steps to secure your physical safety does not mean you don't love your son.. I wont say what those steps are as your situation is unique and I would never presume to understand it.. But I will say you need to make sure you are safe.

[Jess1-RO]

Hi @Katubb,

I can hear the pain you are going through at the moment, and from the bottom of my heart I am so sorry to hear how hard things have been with your son  I can't begin to imagine what you have gone through, but I want you to know that we are here to support you 

You have mentioned some really challenging experiences over the last few years with your son. Where there are changes like you have described in your son, it is understandable to feel a sense of loss of the person he was before.

Dealing with so many difficult experiences, your self care, wellbeing and safety is equally as important. What is your support system like at the moment? Do you have people around you to help with the impact this situation has had? Are you physically safe at the moment?

We are always here to lend an ear when you need someone to speak to